{sugar-free}: pudding?

So I'm on day 4. Day 1 was hard. Day 2 was scary. Today I'm getting my energy back and the headaches aren't as bad. I'm hoping by the weekend that I'll be back to full strength-or at least look like less of a recovering drug addict. Sylvia (our Store Manager) has been worried about me-she doesn't know what do to. Her exact words were: "I haven't heard you laugh at all today-this is the most sick you've ever been!!" I think if I start really exercising it will help me gain some more energy.

But about the pudding. I miss chocolate. Not just for the sugar, I just love chocolate. I've always liked my chocolate very, very dark like 80-90% cacao, but I don't dare risk any sugar. A good portion of the fake sugars and sugar alcohol products feed yeast just as much as sugar (ie Splenda, Asparatame, etc.) because they are derived from sugar, so I have to avoid those, and really I don't want any of the stuff anyway cause they have other health side effects. I read up on stevia so I decided to give it a try. The greek yogurt I've been eating for breakfast has the most wonderfully creamy texture like a rich mousse-my first thought when I tried it was that it would make delicious pudding. So today I dumped a bunch of cocoa powder in a bowl with the greek yogurt and added a couple of packets of truvia. In my mind, it is delicious-Jon thinks that the lack of sugar in my diet may be screwing up my perception of taste because he thinks it is disgusting. It's very cocoa tasting, which I actually really like.

The other thing that is hard is I can't have any vinegars. At first glance that is no big deal, but no vinegar wipes out salad dressing, mayonaise, bbq sauce, a lot of mustards, etc. So no salad dressing on my salad. I've found that if I put avocado on my salads and mush it in and eat it all with my hands it's really good. I was never a huge salad dressing person anyway, but not being able to have it at all has been weird.

Overall, I feel much better and since last Saturday, I have lost 5 pounds! That's not what this is about, but I'm sure not complaining about that side effect! Hopefully this will be just the shift I need in life to help me to be healthy and get me through my insatiable need for sweets. I know back in High School when I wasn't eating a whole lot of anything I didn't crave sweets hardly at all because I didn't eat them hardly at all-and that was driven by pride an vanity. Hopefully now that I have good reasons I can get back on the right track and not feel like I'm depriving myself so much when I'm around them. It will be for health reasons, which is ultimately so much more important!

Speaking of High School, and this is just embarassing, that last episode of Glee this week made me cry a little. I don't know if it's because of what she said about your relationship with food changing so much when your pregnant or just the song she sang, but I was bawling....I'm such a baby now which I continue to blame on the breastfeeding hormones, but if you didn't see the episode, it struck home. (sniff). Awww food, someday we will figure out our complicated relationship...