{growing up}: ?

Ok, so I really could have spent a little bit more time on this diagram, but it shows my point and I'm all about doing the bare minimum when it comes to these sorts of things...
Jon and I had a lengthy discussion on the car drive home from Salt Lake about aging.  We're in a weird place...he's 30, I'm 27 and we both still want to believe that we're 21.  We did so much in our young adulthood, before we had kids, but of course there is always more we could have done.  We're in this strange inbetween where we're certainly not middle aged and completely beaten down by children, but we're also not able to take off chasing a VW bus across the country or off to Mexico to camp for a week.  We find ourselves trying to be responsible, worried about politics and discussing the future of our world and country while also wondering if we could find someone to babysit while we went to warped tour and at what point do we stop trying to be trendy?
Jon painted a picture of one of the best analogy's that I've every heard on the subject.  And I know this isn't anything new, but aging shouldn't be painted as crossing a map.  You aren't moving from one point to another-leaving that piece of you behind as you go.  Instead we are more like a ball of wax-growing and developing as we age-taking every piece of ourselves with us as we progress.  I didn't leave my love for obnoxious punk music and snowboarding in my teenage years.  My ridiculously loud manual transmission car is a souvenir from young adulthood that I really don't want to part with!  And I will always love fried chicken and chocolate milk-just like I did when I was 6.
Sometimes it's hard to find balance.  It was funny-towards the end of both pregnancies I got a little weird.  I start listening to music from high school and wanting more than anything to be back there.  I think I freak out a little at where life is taking me-being a Mom is this crazy responsibly and I miss the simplicity of only looking out for myself.  But then when I sit down for even a moment to think about it I would never go back...I love my life, my hubby and my babies too much.
Jon reminded me that I don't have to give up everything from my past lives-just continue to grow and mold it into where I am now.  And that's what I try to do.  I take silly pictures with silly girls, drive my loud car, play at the park with my babies, cliff jump at the lake, and enjoy chocolate milk.


{birthdays}: paisley

This year Paisley's birthday was a complete bust.  I had this wonderful plan to have all the children run rampant at a pool instead of at my house, I had these super fun cupcakes in mind for eating, and all in all it was going to be a simple and fun time...

On Friday, the day of the party I found out I had strep (and had had strep for a week by then), and also found out that due to school starting the pool would be closing at 6.  (They failed to tell me this when I called and asked them if we could do her party there on the 17th from 6-8...grrr).  But in the end it turned out ok.  We came here instead, ate delicious costco cake (I wasn't about to bake or touch ANYTHING), and colored my little pony pages.  I think she had a good time.  I hope so.
I started looking at the folders of her birthday's so far and couldn't help but compare:

1st Birthday:
 2nd Birthday:
 3rd Birthday:
 She has grown up so fast!!  I still can't believe that she's 3!!  And talking and doing SOO much!  We just love her ♥


{thoughts}: the pioneer woman

I've just started to really catch on to a habit I've formed.  I'm honestly not completely sure when it started, I know I've mentioned it before on here, but today's "woman" doesn't really intimidate me.   It's the pioneer woman that does. (When I say pioneer woman I'm not talking about that sweet woman with the awesome blog with recipes and photo tips, I mean Great Great Great Grandma that crossed the plains)  Instead of the traditional "keeping up with the Jone's" I find myself wondering how the pioneer woman would spend her time, how she would fix this problem, and what a better job she probably did raising her kids.  Her kids couldn't watch too much TV.  She wasn't ever distracted by Pinterest.  She couldn't escape to an indoor shower with hot water when she needed a break.  She nursed her babies, and had them all naturally.  She had no bouncy chair to hold her babies, and no Tylenol for fevers at night.  She cooked all of her meals homemade, darned socks instead of buying new ones and probably got up at dawn and slept at dusk.  I'm guessing exercising wasn't much of an issue-hauling water, heating water and washing dishes alone sounds like some serious cardio to me!  She didn't have a memory foam mattress, air-conditioning or straightener...  She intimidates me.  She's what I ultimately want to measure myself against.  She's who I think about at night when I wonder if I'm doing a good job...


{update}: from my phone!

Okay so it turns out I can blog from my phone... and my phone lets me talk to it and then it does all the typing. Could I be more lazy? Or really more excited?
I am super happy to announce that Stella has been sleeping through the night... a landmark I have been eagerly awaiting!! It turns out that by following some more crunchy parenting techniques I was able to achieve the conventional goal of having my child sleep through the night. I found with her that sleep begets sleep... so I have started holding/wearing her more during the day making sure that she is sleeping more and also have stopped thinking and worrying about sleep being a priority. When she is awake I try to make sure she is wide awake and awake for a little longer. Oddly enough when I would come downstairs and watch tv at 9 instead of trying to be quiet and stay upstairs reading she falls asleep better for the night.... she really likes noise. I also keep feeding her on demand and now that she has put some weight on she's able to make it for longer stretches. I am so grateful and feeling so blessed!
We also blessed Stella this weekend and everything went really well. Of course I completely forgot to get out my camera and do not have a single picture other than the one I instagramed first thing in the morning. My parents surprised us and came down after they said they weren't going to be able to make it and Jon's parents were able to come down as well! We had a full house after the blessing.  As I sat in the meeting completely surrounded by so many friends and family I just felt so much love. We really are so blessed when it comes to family and friends.
Things are finally quieting down and life is returning to normal. I was so intimidated to have 2 children, but the longer I have them the more normal it seems and the less scary it becomes. I guess at some point you stop and look around and realize - I'm doing it so I'm okay, right?
Now if we could just get this blazing heat and mugginess to go away...I'm so ready for fall!!