{our friendship}: may be pending

Before we continue our friendship I need you to solemnly swear a couple of things:

• that you will never put up wallpaper in your home (particularly borders)-especially with kitty cats and stars and moons.
• that you will take the time to tape stuff off before you just start slapping paint around.
• that you will take a moment to see if the tile really does match the other tile.
• that you leave a note for the next owners explaining all of the super strange things that you've done to your house.
• that salmon pink will NEVER be a color that graces your walls.
• that you'll remember to tell the guy installing the new carpet that the floor vents are no longer necessary (rendering the holes and vents unnecessary also...)
• and that if you're too old and senile to notice these things, that you'll hire a professional!!  Or at least get a second opinion from someone that still has their sight!!

I have sooo many questions about the craziness we're dealing with...and I would just hope that as my friend you would take care of this list-because I just feel bad for the next owner of your home if you don't!!

Befores and afters soon to come...

{news}: are we considered grown ups now?

Just signed our life away.  Wish us luck!!

{homemade}: food and crisis'

So I've been going through a bit of a crisis lately...which has led to a lot of baking.  Like, a lot of baking.  I can't tell you why, but it makes me feel better.  I even made homemade pot roast and cookies yesterday...sooooo good.  For one reason or another, baking seems to soothe me.  It's weird.  We started off with Homemade Vanilla Wafers last week.  A-mazing.  Seriously.  And super good.  

You can find the recipe for the homemade nillas here.  I had to milk down the batter a bit to get them to come out of the pastry bag so they turned out more bready that I would have liked...so I'll just have to make them again and try something else.  They were still delicious!!

My next project was homemade smores.  Also delicious.  I would have to say my favorite is definitely the homemade graham crackers-so much richer than store bought and sooo yummy.  I'm also in love with the homemade chocolate bars-seriously I love just straight cocoa so it's nice to be able to make them full strength dark chocolate (I just add very minimal sweetener, but you can add as much as you want).  The homemade marshmallows were delicious-I just don't love marshmallows unless they're squished between two grahams and some chocolate!!  Or in Rice Krispie treats...hmmmm...

 Marshmallow recipe here.  Gotta love Martha!

 Soooo gooey and delicious.  Chocolate bar recipe here.

 And Graham Cracker recipe here.  Also Martha.  Love her.

We may have acquired some boxes which have kept Paisley busy busy.  She LOVES being able to box her and Stella into everything and we spent hours one day building a massive blanket/box fort.  The boxes are for packing...because we might be moving...because we hopefully bought a house!!  I hope.  We close the 15th but I just don't feel like it's actually ours until we have keys in our hands.  I'm so excited but the prospect of such a change and moving is making me stress bake non-stop!!

Also, if you're interesting in doing trade we will be needing help painting the whole house before we move in (so ideally we'll have the whole house painted in 3 days!!!)  I will cook, clean, take pictures, bake, babysit and basically do anything for anyone willing to help paint!!  Message me and let me know if you're interested!!  I'm waiting to post anything on FB until we're closer but if you can help let me know!!  I'm freaking out, and so excited!!  Wish us luck on this crazy endeavor!!

{valentines}: a tea party

So our cute friend put together a princess tea party for valentines day!  It was darling and such a fun activity for the girls!  Paisley loved dressing up all fancy and I even let her put her sparkles on her eyes-her favorite.  She came downstairs all ready-jewelry, crown, heels, sparkles...and said "let's go!"  I reminded her that she also has to wear a dress...

 Pretty eye sparkles!

 This party was fancy!!  Chocolate dipped strawberries and heart shaped PB&J!  All of it was soo good ;)

 Fancy princess shoes.  She could not keep her hands off the chocolate strawberries!!  ( I couldn't either)

 This was the only picture that almost kind of turned out with all three girls!  She did not want her picture taken!!  Paisley and Lexie had no problem posing for the camera.  (And can I add that we did not coordinate dresses!  They all happened to come as different princesses!!)

 They love each other!

 Tired princess downing a cupcake after a long day of walking in those heels!

Even Stella got to play.  Love my sweet girlies.

{park day}: and some valentines

I'm regretting not taking more pictures of my own children.  I went to the park with a friend of mine today to show her some things about how to use her camera and tried to shoot some pics of my babes as well.  All I can get from Paisley is "movement" pictures...because seriously she can't even consider holding still at a park.  Stella is just hilarious and mostly seems to be wondering what in the world I'm doing with that big black thing over my face.  She is getting so big and wants to crawl soo bad!  mmmm...I love them.  Happy Valentines!

 This scowl comes straight from her Daddy.  Seriously.  It's identical.

 "What are you doing Mom?"

 Best face of Paisley from the day.  Yep. lol

Her Dad surprised her and got her a box of chocolates and some flowers too.  She was so excited!! And a bit nude (she was quite dirty after the park).  Is it weird that my child rarely wears clothes at home?  She just doesn't like to and I have a hard time keeping them on her...
We also went to an awesome Princess Valentines Party and I'll be posting some of those pics soon!!

{sunday}: adventures

I'm going to use a lot of religion specific terms and if you don't understand them feel free to look up more info here.

So we've been in a married ward for the nearly 8 years we've been married.  That means no primary or youth programs, no old people and no children bearing their testimony on fast sunday.  We have loved it and tearfully (and finally really) graduated this year because well, it was time.  And Pais is 3 and needs to go to sunbeams!!  (Yay!!)  We missed the first fast sunday in our new ward so yesterday was the first.  Seeing other children stand up to bear testimony was a revelation for Paisley.  She had no idea she could just walk up there and have her voice magnified to the masses.  She was immediately moved to do so the moment the first child rejoined the congregation.

She spend the trip from the back of the chapel to the front with her dress up around her neck because that wedgie just couldn't be left alone.  (Thankfully we had on the cute panties that day).  She suddenly found herself full of hesitation seeing the great mass she was about to address.  After having me pick her up she was renewed with energy and desire to testify to these masses.  I carried her to the pulpit and she resolutely grabbed the microphone.  Her address:

"Dad!!  Dad!  Hi.  (I'm furiously whispering in her ear, to no avail).  I love my princess panties.  I have a dinosaur.  Ponies?  Dad!!

I then attempted to myself bear testimony.  She just couldn't have that and realized that there was a stool-specifically placed there for short critters like herself.  She fixated on the need to stand on that stool..NOW.  She expressed her NEED to STAND ON THE STOOL NOWWW by kicking and screaming and yelling and generally testifying of her need for the stool and the microphone NOW.

Well, first impression all done.  Welcome to the new ward.  And her sunbeam teacher thought she was shy!!!

{update}: update

My heart is heavy, my body is sick and my head..ohhh..it pounds.  Both my babes are sick and I originally tried the just-ignore-their-colds-and-it-will-go-away approach and that didn't work too well.  Honestly I can't complain too much because normally by this time of year I've been sick 3 times and this ones the first real cold of the season.  AND the DOCTOR said we could give Paisley Benadryl.  She said it was a good thing to do.  The box says no, but the doctor said yes...sooo...I'm not a bad mom.  Just for the record.

I've watched some dear friends go through some really hard stuff in the last little while.  It makes my heart ache.  Oh, I want to fix and make everything better for everyone.  Its hard.

I get really vulnerable at wedding shows.  I shouldn't, but I do.  Or maybe I should...I don't know.  Knowing that your work is blatantly being judged and compared to everyone else's can get a bit scary.  And seriously...I bought everything for my booth at DI and I still can't tell if I looked cheap and thrown together or if it somehow worked.  Seriously, you should have seen some of these booths!!  Amazing!

Stella has started biting.  Intentionally.  How do I know it's intentional?  Because after I yelped the first time she did it again and again to get the same reaction.  Now she gets tapped on the forehead. I'm just so glad she doesn't have teeth!

Doing the showcase made me realize once again how high-maintenance Paisley really is.  She gets completely out of whack if she doesn't get her correct allotment of attention in a week and will act out and use any means possible to get it some other way.  It doesn't matter if it's negative or positive she NEEDS attention like most people need oxygen. (I'm a little bit the same way though...so I kind of understand.)  She's going to drive me crazy.

Anybody know anything about weight-lifting for women?  That's my next physical venture...let me know if you have advice or tips.

{favorite way to blog}: a list

And this is where I'm at in life:

• Night time is scary.  Knowing the reality of the fact that there is only windows and doors keeping the outside world out has become super real all of a sudden.
• Paisley is hilarious.  
• I find that if I spend my morning snuggling my girls in bed and loving on them I'm not nearly as mad when they both drive me crazy throughout the day...you really do have to just soak in all the goodness you can so the crazy doesn't take over!
• I'm getting ready for a wedding show.  It's stressful.  And time consuming.  And...I really hope it's worth it.
• Finding the right house, for the right price, with the right amount of work needed is proving to be really difficult.  We paused for 20 minutes on I house I really, really loved and I kind of regret not at least trying to put an offer on it.  Oh well.  It's just really hard to decide in 20 minutes if you want to invest in something for 30 years...
• Stella is at my favorite baby stage.  Not super mobile, smiles and giggles all day, and snuggly!  I just wish she wasn't such an aggressive nurser!
• I designed my first billboard...it's not my favorite BUT it's super cool to see my work that big!  I'll take pictures ;)
• If you haven't ever tried the mexican dish tinga...you need to!  favorite.
• lettuce wraps, also favorite.  The best was realizing we had them as leftovers and eating them for lunch yesterday...it's the simple things in life.
• And newest project:  I discovered you can not only make homemade graham crackers but homemade marshmallows too!!  Homemade smores here we come!!
• I'm totally going to have to do a pinterest project follow up...I've been trying out some fun things!

That's life currently...unless I forgot something.  Hmmmm..my brain is so frazzled at this point I don't know if it matters.  Wish me luck in life currently!

{winter}: it snows today

It snows today.  And it's such a rare occurance that I ran out and took pictures just as fast as I could because you never know if you'll see it happen again!  Paisley kept trying to fill up her hands so she could eat it.  I remember the winter that Jon moved here.  I drove over to his apartment with hot chocolate and mugs and he couldn't understand what the big deal was.  The longer we're here the more we miss it...not enough to actually move, but enough that we're sad our kids won't really know what it is.

Christmas morning was so fun this year.  We stayed home and relaxed with our little family.  We spend Christmas eve delivering Christmas candy, looking at Christmas lights and listening to Christmas carols.  Santa came that night and filled our stockings and under our tree!!  It is so fun having Paisley get so excited-Christmas really is so much more fun with kids!

 Stella got some fun chew toys which she LOVES.  She is such a good baby and we just love her so much.

(Jon's not sure if it's his size, lol)

 Paisley got a whole treasure chest of dress-ups (hence the crown), lots of fun my little pony things, her new hello kitty jammies and her giant elephant!!

 She loves this elephant so far and insists on taking it around the house with her everywhere she goes so she has something to lay on.  It's like a giant pillow pet and takes up most of her bed (which she loves).

 She has started posing for pictures...oh dear.  Our diet on Christmas consisted mostly of candy, candy and egg nog...and then more candy.  Ug.  I was going to make a Christmas ham but Jon still isn't over his stomach flu so we went Chinese for Christmas instead and it was awesome!!  The Red Ginger here has some amazing lamb & radish soup you have to ask for that is delicious and perfect for a winter night!

And my Aunt and Uncle Measom are up from Texas and came to use our internet on Christmas day so they could skype with my cousin on a mission in Chile.  It was so fun to have them all here!!  I wish we had a bigger couch for them!!

We have been busy but soo so good.  I just can't help but feel so blessed this Christmas season.  We are so surrounded by wonderful friends and family and so grateful for all that we have.  We've been hitting the house market hard looking for something and it is terrible!!  It's so easy to get caught up and wish we had more money or worry that we'll never be able to buy anything and actually afford it...then I look at my healthy babies and my sweet husband and realize that I'm already too spoiled as it is.  Ohhh...I love them.  Hopefully we'll find something soon...I'm afraid if we don't we may just give up and live here for the rest of our lives (which really wouldn't be so bad-our heater broke last week and all I had to do was call someone...soooo nice!!).  If anyone hears of anything LET US KNOW-we're on the prowl.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

{preschool}: christmas

I've been loving having these cute kiddies for preschool this month.  They really are so much fun!! We play games and make crafts and read stories...I just can't believe how big they all are!!

{potty training}: hopefully a means to an end...?

On Thursday a garbage truck came to pick up our garbage (the big kind with the hooks on the front to lift up dumpsters) and it scared Paisley.  At the exact moment that she expressed her fear of the big truck a horrible, awful idea occurred to me:

"Paisley, if you poop on your floor again I'm going to have to give your snuggles to the garbage truck" (snuggles is her most favorite comfort object and blanky)

"That truck?  The scary fire truck?"

"Yep.  The scary fire truck"

She has not pooped on her floor since going 3 days strong...

Pray for me that terrorizing her with this is the answer.

{potty training}: at wits end...

So...since my surgery Paisley has pooped on her floor every single day that we've been home.  (so minus Thanksgiving and a weekend at a cabin)...meaning we're going on a month and a half of pooping on the floor EVERY day.  She typically poops on the floor during her nap time..or sometimes surprises me and just goes up there randomly during the day to do it.  She also poops on the potty quite regularly but somehow saves some special time of day to poop on the floor.  I have tried:

• Not doing nap time.  She still needs it.  Still finds another time of day to go poop on her floor
• Changing the time of nap time.  Doesn't matter.  Even if she goes before she still manages to poop on her floor.
• Spending more time with her.  Spending more one-on-one time with her.  Cuddling and loving on her more.  etc.
• Changing general routine to get out more, spend more time doing fun things for her, etc.
• Taking toys or privileges away.
• Spanking her.
• Putting her back in diapers-for almost a full month, which she asked for every day and still...took those off to poop on the floor.
• Duct taping diapers on for naps.  Still took them off and pooped on the floor.
• Starting over with a reward system.  She then thought she should be rewarded for everything and constantly asked for treats...done with that...oh, and still pooped on the floor.
• Other means of positive reinforcement...do not work
• Ignoring the situation.
• Having her help clean it up.  Does not care.  Loves to clean.
• Spanking her. (still not really THAT hard, but hard enough to mean business)
• Buying her most FAVORITE my little pony panties and hanging them on her wall for her to see out of reach and telling her that if she doesn't poop on the floor she gets to wear them!!  (which she talked about non-stop the entire day before...and then pooped on the floor)
• Explaining in depth the situation, why we shouldn't poop on the floor, that it makes Mommy sad, that it's gross, that there are germs, that Mommy and Daddy don't like to clean it up.  She has repeated all of this back to me and understands it in depth-even so far as to explain it to her dollies, horsies and other toys (that also have problems pooping on the floor, apparently).
• Jon and I have taken turns dealing with it to see if she's acting out towards one or the other.  Does not matter.
• She does not care if her toys are taken away.  And I mean ALL her toys...no big deal.
• Does not care if her blanket is taken away.
• Really the only thing she cares about is hanging out with me but I can't leave her in her room by herself all day because...she poops on the floor.  And the only time I do leave her up there is during nap time-other than that shes just with me all day.

The one thing I've had recommended to me is trying to force her to go potty by holding her on there until she goes every time.  I'm not doing that.  I take her plenty and if she needs to go she goes, and if she doesn't need to she doesn't.  I'm not going to make her sit on the potty for an hour before nap time and try and force her to go.  Even if she does go of her own accord right before naps she still manages to poop on the floor.

I have witnessed her wake up out of sleep in the night to get up and go potty.  She poops in the potty every other time of day-and even during nap times if she's already pooped on the floor that day.  My sanity and my carpet need help.  I honestly don't know what to do.  It's not a medical thing (she poops just fine), I'm sure it's psychological but I have no idea how to fix it.  I knew she was going to be challenging, but WOW.  

I know that it's probably a regression because of the baby, or all the travelling and the busy-ness and everything else.  And I have read EVERYTHING that is available about regression-and have done EVERYTHING that has been recommended.  Nothing is working.  And this isn't a "be patient and give it time" thing-it's been almost 2 months and the girl is potty trained and has been for a year.  

I know its a control issue too.  Once again-how am I supposed to deal with it?  It's got to stop.  Has anyone been through this?  I'm at the end...

I find that by the time I'm going crazy enough to actually blog about something it typically resolves itself somehow so I'm really hoping that's the case here...

{famousness and such}: the buried life

You guys...we were on tv.  Check it out here: The Buried Life.

{routine}: coming, this December.

Something inside smiles when I wake up on a Wednesday in a different place and a different bed.

At that exact same moment my brain explodes with a need to be in my own bed, in my own room, doing my usual routine.

It's a continual battle.

My brain screams and whines for routine and my heart loves to wander away from it.

Ah, wanderlust.  You keep me crossing things off my list.

{tonsils}

Having my tonsils removed has been awful.  I was warned that it would be awful.  It's awful.  I can't talk, I can't eat, it hurts SO bad and I look and feel like a drug addict on the percocet.  It makes my face itch and it makes me not be able to focus or read very well...so I think this post will be short.

I think the percocet has been making Stella all weird too because she keeps sticking her tongue out at me and scratching her face...so there you have it-mama and baby drug addicts.  We stay in bed together all day so I can feed her.

I had them out on the 1st, today is the 9th and I can honestly say there has been no improvement pain-wise...which is so discouraging.  Today is the first day I've felt like I can really sit up at a computer and type at all though, so I have to believe I'm making some sort of progress.

I got the stomach flu a couple of days ago on top of things...I think I'll probably have nightmares about that for a long time.  Throwing up with scabs in the back of your throat....

I nicked one of my scabs last night trying to brush my teeth and spent the night bleeding.

Really it's mostly bad news around here right now.

Wait, there is one thing.  I weigh 10 lbs less than Jon.  not worth it.

AND I am surrounded by so many kind people that have fed my family, checked in on us, helped with the kids, and just generally rescued us from this!  Thank you so much all of you that have helped.  Seriously I feel like that's the only reason we've survived and I've survived.

love you guys.