7/28/10
{clarity}: the womenfolk
I've blogged before about how much I hate girls and how much I worry about Paisley when she gets older because of girls. I received even more clarification about that today. I had something horrible happen to me. Details may not be important-let's just say I got to enjoy the searing pain of being judged by some of St. George's finest example of why I hate girls. It shocked me into remembering why I struggled so much in High School. It burned. And was so unecessary! I had to step back and wonder to myself if all my progress in finding self worth was real? My first words out of my mouth to my dear sweet husband was "I am so much better than them! Why do I even care?" Actually, that leaves me at their level because they believe that they are so much better than everyone. I realized that to pull out of my dangerously steep spiral that was not the line of thought I needed to pursue. So what then? I began to reflect on how lucky I am. I am surrounded by girlfriends that don't need to do this to others to survive. I have loving, non-judging girlfriends that just love me for who I am. Not how many children I have, not how skinny I am, not whether or not I'm breastfeeding...they all just love me. And I am weird! And still loved! And I love all of you. I am becoming more whole and ok because of you. Thank you for putting up with my bizarre quirks....my desperate need to speak my mind...I love you all and I hope I've been that girlfriend for you!
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Reason #502 why I had a boyfriend all through high school= no matter how much of an idiot he was, it was better hanging with him than high school girls.
ReplyDeleteSorry people are so mean!
its true. girls are so mean. Why is that. Why do we care so much! I have found this very hard as I try to make friends. hence I still have few out here.
ReplyDeleteYou are that friend for me always and forever! I heart you and say F*** those stupid judgemental ones. You are amazing and I'm going to call you ASAP for the details so that I can be even more specific in my telling offs ;-)
ReplyDeleteahhh April after reading this I SOOO know how you feel; as far as feeling like I'm different and hating the way other girls are. But I just want to let you know... that I have had some crush on you for sometime now, thinking how cool it would be to have you as a friend (where we actually talk). Because you are so cute, and the way you dress is sooo cool, and I love your hair styles and the way the wind blows through it hahah, and you are so quirky and bubbly in your personality; I want more friends like that. And now I think I can consider us kindred spirits for life (yes, because of one CLUE photo shoot.. HA). And it's ok if you think I'm weird and you are only nice to me because you feel sorry for me... I'm cool with being that girl, as long as I can be your friend ;)
ReplyDeleteWill you be my Best friend?
Check the box
Yes or No or Maybe :)
-Stephanie
Definitely! No worries, I have professed my love to other awesome girls when I find them. (not that I'm cheating on you...promise). And most certainly we are kindred spirits for life! Looking at your pics makes me want to try and pull off red lipstick again! Love it! Love you!
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