{reflection}: man in the mirror

I've been thinking a lot about how critical I am. I pride myself on trying very hard not to be a judgmental person based on appearance, past, and such but the more I get to know people, the more critical I am. I'm nicer to perfect strangers than I am to people I know well! This has always worried me, but worries me more because I want to be able to look past all my children's imperfections and love them unconditionally, but so far those that are close to me are judged much, much harsher than people that I just met. I can't decide why that is. I know part of it is because I know that they know better. But beyond that, I don't know. I look at the bad decisions friends of mine have made and their lot in life and I think: 'you did this to yourself!' but hear the exact same situation of a perfect stranger and think: 'wow, that's hard. you'll make it through.' Isn't that terrible! Luckily I've learned not to be too harsh to Jon (I think he found some sort of loophole), but even sometimes I catch myself holding him to such a high standard and I feel bad for him!! He doesn't help much either, but he has it the right way around. He's viciously critical of complete strangers and loving and understanding towards friends. I recognized this was a problem of mine months ago, and it's something I'm really trying to work on but I still catch myself feeling this way sometimes and it makes me sad. I know I hold myself to a very high standard, and I am very critical of the things that I do, but that is no excuse to do so to those that I know and love! Where is the line?

1 comment:

  1. I am not sure there is a line darlin'. We learn to love and not judge...LUCKILY we have a REALLY long time to learn this skill...know what I'm sayin'? You are a beautiful loving gal...do not be too hard on yourself, keep trying, never give up, you know...all that stuff I drilled into you when you were 14...

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