{dreams}: in a funk

I'm in a weird place this morning.  It's been a long time since I had a nightmare... especially such a terrifying one.  It has left me in a weepy funk that I'm having a hard time shaking.  The dream:

Jon and I had gone up to a cabin to escape St. George with our friends Chad and Sarah.  It was in the forest up above the ocean (so I'm guessing Northern Cali?).  We were very suspicious of some of the things going on and went to a meeting in a classroom where they were discussing the state of things.  I opted to hide out with a group in a truck and Jon, Chad and Sarah went into the meeting.  I could see and hear what was going on inside the meeting, but was sitting in the drivers seat of a hummer/truck type vehicle.  They were talking about a specific group having complete control of all broadcasting by Christmas and control of all the oil companies as well.  As soon as that news broke, gunfire opened up in the room.

Chad and Sarah were both killed.  I saw Jon go down but was busy putting a gun together in my hands.  The girl sitting next to me that was supposed to be my cover was shot in the head.  I finished assembling the gun I had in my hands and was able to shoot the leader of whoever was in charge.  That ended it.  I saw Jon get up, but he had to go with the group of survivors for questioning.  I ran into the woods back to the cabin to find the door wide open and the cabin looted.  All the lights were on and the front door ajar.  The TV was broken on it's side and channels were coming on and off.  I watched the news long enough to see that they were dumping all of the bodies into the ocean as many were being killed in all of the big cities.  I closed up the cabin and started turning off lights so that no one would be able to see me inside.  I got ready for bed and decided to go outside to check out the woods around the house.  I didn't have my contacts in so everything was blurry.  In the distance I could see a few people making their way through the woods.  I finally recognized Jon.

I ran to him and grabbed his face and was so glad he was ok.  I couldn't believe he was ok.  Up until this point, it seems like I had forgotten about Paisley, but holding onto him I remembered and asked if she was still safe.  He told me they were putting her back together.  I asked what that meant and he explained that she had accidentally been shot, and that we were luckily going to be able to bury her.  My heart broke.  I started sobbing and that's when I woke up, sobbing.

I don't watch action movies.  I don't read action books.  I don't play video games.  I don't even watch a lot of the news.  Where in the world did my imagination come up with this stuff?  I had to get up and turn on all the lights in my house and sit there and soak up reality for a long time to snap out of it.  I'm still not completely out of it.  It was TOO real.  I remember vivid details of everything...and the feelings were so real.  So now I'm going on 2 nights of terrible sleep and the raccoon eyes are just getting prettier and prettier...

So I had a good friend suggest looking into a dream interpretation of what happened and oddly it made me feel a lot better.  Some of the highlights:

  • To dream that you are loading a gun forewarns that you should be careful in not letting your temper get out of control.  (I've actually been struggling a lot with my temper lately)
  • To dream that you shoot someone with a gun denotes your aggressive feeling and hidden anger toward that particular person. You may be trying to blame them for something.  (I honestly didn't know the person I was shooting...sooo)
  • If you dream about the death of a child, then it implies that you need to let go of your immaturity and start being more serious. (And I feel super immature about the fact that I have been struggling with my temper)
  • To see someone dying in your dream signifies that your feelings for that person are dead or that a significant change/loss is occurring in your relationship with that person. Alternatively, you may want to repress that aspect of yourself that is represented by the dying person. (Oddly, the person I saw shot in the head does symbolize a lot of things I would like to repress in myself...super weird)
  • To dream of a war signifies disorder and chaos in your waking life. You are experiencing some internal conflict or emotional struggle which is tearing you up inside. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are either being overly aggressive or that you are not being assertive enough.  (Once again, I have been struggling with my temper/aggression and I do feel like there is some chaos just because of not knowing when the baby is coming and if everything will go well, and will it be on my sister's wedding day, etc.)
I can actually say reading all of this made me feel so much better because before I just couldn't believe my mind would randomly come up with so much terrible stuff out of the blue.  At least this makes me feel like I make more sense?

1 comment:

  1. Stupid pregnancy dreams! It seems like I started having really horrifying and vibrant dreams when I was this far along with Colt. I figure its maternal subconscious worries and insecurities coming out. My pregnancy dreams were gory and scary like this too. I never watch scary movies, particularly anything with a lot of gore (aside from zombie movies, but that hardly counts). I imagine it's even worse with a second child because you've got the first to worry about already.


Please leave your message after the tone -BEEP-