{baby}: whine

I.am.so.done.

*Disclaimer:  if you don't like reading posts about pregnant women complaining about their pregnancy, just pass this one and go read something else.  I promise I know how blessed I am to be pregnant-biologically speaking I come from a family that has a hard time with pregnancy and my sweet mother can't have babies..so I know, I really do.


I read an article on babycenter today titled "The Top 12 things pregnant women miss during their pregnancies."  I thought it would make me laugh.  I cried.  In the top were sex and booze.  I don't think I've ever wanted to take up drinking more than when I'm pregnant...and OOOohhhhh...I miss sex.  It's not that we can't, it's just that its not really fun anymore.

I've almost blatantly ignored most of the food warnings-I haven't wanted sushi so I've stayed away, but I've eaten plenty of lunch meat, over-easy eggs and cookie dough.  Not tons, but I don't usually eat that much of it anyway.  I miss wanting and enjoying food.  Loving food is my kind of normal.  Not wanting and being able to enjoy food is awful for me.

I do miss cute shoes.  I keep telling myself I'm just going to wear them anyway...and then Sunday rolls around and I have a 7:30 am meeting and the last thing I want to do is put on heels.  So flats it is...frowny face.

Feeling strong and independent...another one on the list.  I fight this one.  Hard.  I HATE not being able to do it myself.  And I've really tried to maintain, but ultimately I find myself continually asking for help in one way or the other.  It's just hard.

One of the worst...peaceful sleep.  I love my sleep.  so, so much.  And those days are over.  I got so sick and tired of everyone telling me (when I was pregnant with Paisley) to just enjoy those last few weeks of pregnancy because "it was going to be SOO much worse once the baby was here."  These people are idiots and obviously did not have difficult pregnancies or just haven't had children.  I sleep in 1 hour intervals right now-with a baby I was getting AT LEAST 3 hour intervals at the worst!  And those 3 hour intervals were actual sleep, not just closing my eyes and passing out in exhaustion only to wake up and hour later with a charlie horse in my hip.  And I want SO badly to sleep on my back or stomach...soo soo badly.

I think it should be impossible for pregnant women to get the flu.  I got it for the second time this pregnancy earlier this week and ended up in the hospital again.  Ug.  I hate it so much.  As if having morning sickness still wasn't enough I got to go ahead and have the full blown flu.  With the flu came super bad lower back spasms, charlie horses in both hips and calfs, and finally contractions.  So I'm currently dilated to a 3...which may or may not mean anything.  Thankfully everything stopped because I wasn't too keen on going into full blown labor in such a miserable state, and my lovely birth companion would have been no help to me either (as he also lay home dying with the same thing).  We are, so thankfully, both alive and well currently.

Lastly, I hate complaining.  I hate having such a strong desire to complain.  It's hard to fight it.  I'm miserable.  Distractions are nice, but even they end up being short lived.  I want to be done.  I really want to meet Stella.  I really want to sleep and eat and snuggle a new little one.  Feel bad for me.  It's a rough day.