{modesty}: a discourse

I just spent too long of a lunch being lectured about modesty.  I consider myself and my sister (who was there) fairly modest people, and so the lecture-which wasn't even necessarily pointed toward us-was quite annoying.  I'm tired of it.  Not because I don't agree with being modest, but because I keep hearing the same stupid things over and over again that don't make a lot of sense and I'm tired of all of it!!

1. (My personal favorite) "Well, people think badly (judge) when they see girls dressed immodestly because they automatically know what kind of girl they are."  What??!  I'm sorry, but this is some lame excuse everyone has come up with to feel better about judging people.  I'm not buying it.
2. "You just don't understand how men think."  I have only heard this phrase from other women.  Lots of them were single women.  Women that haven't spent a lot of time with men.  I have had several close male friends, and now a husband that have given me lots of insight into the minds of males...and yes, they certainly can be filthy.  And yes, scantily clad women running around doesn't necessarily help BUT I fail to see how their brain, their agency, their ability to control their thoughts or actions is MY PROBLEM?  These men are going to be around women for the rest of their lives, and when it comes down to it are capable of sexualizing ANYTHING...seriously, I know...I have a lot of male friends...  Can we help out by wearing some clothes, absolutely.  Ultimately, is this MY problem? no.
3. "2 piece swimsuits are terribly immodest."  They are.  So are 1 piece swimsuits.  All swimwear is tight, cut, and revealing.  ALL SWIMWEAR.  We recently went to a pageant (which brought a lot of this up) and several girls wore 2 piece swimsuits.  Was I shocked because they were 2 pieces?  Not so much...more shocked at the lack of self-awareness and inability to realize how unflattering the suits were on themselves.  If you are going to parade yourself around in any type of swimsuit, I don't know that it matters much if it's 2 pieces or one.  We get to see all of your goods one way or another.  Will Paisley have to wear modest swimsuits growing up?  You betcha-currently I'm loving tankinis but we'll see what we're dealing with when we get there.
4. This isn't a specific phrase, but more of a frame of mind.  I am SO TIRED of seeing all of the sweet girls embarrassed of their bodies because their parents taught them to be (so they would cover up).  It makes me sick.  I had a good friend who had been taught to be embarrassed of her boobs all growing up so that her parents didn't have to worry about her showing them off.  Now, I'm not an advocate for showing them off, but I don't think it should be embarrassment that drives girls to modesty.
5. "All naked bodies are pornographic."  Yeah, it's because of you people that I had to hide under a tent just to feed my child while I was nursing!!!!  ALL NAKED BODIES ARE NOT PORNOGRAPHY!!!!  If you believe that, YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM.  Please, PLEASE don't tell me that every time you see a naked little kid that you instantly sexualize the situation because that is YOUR problem.
6. "All naked bodies are disgusting."  How sad for you.  How sad for your children.  How sad that you look at your spouse and yourself in disgust.  I don't understand it.  I see so much beauty in people and their bodies and it's sad to me that anyone would honestly believe this!

I choose to be modest for many reasons.  Mostly out of respect for myself.  I don't do it because I'm worrying what everyone is thinking about me (particularly all those FILTHY men), I don't do it because I'm embarrassed of my body, and I don't do it because of anyone else but myself.  I also am a member of a Church that advocates modesty.  I love how they advocate it too:

     "Your body is God’s sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ.  Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside."                               from "For the Strength of Youth"

And that's how Paisley is going to learn.  She should never be doing anything because of what people might say or think about her and how she dresses is at the top of that list!  Modesty isn't even how you dress so much as how you wear it.  It's a frame of mind.  And for me it's how I keep my undies covered ;)

{design}: for fun

Sometimes I like to do some design for fun...I need to do it more.  I love these lyrics by the Avett Brothers.

{autumn}: pumpkin patch



I wanted so badly to get some cute pictures of Paisley with this amazing pumpkin patch in the background...instead, I was getting a lot of this...

and this....

And I did finally get this one, but only because she saw a doggie...

pumpkins hold still.  I like that.

I think this one is my fave.

Now guess how many pictures I had to take to get her in focus and not the fence!!!!  And I know, I could have just used the manual focus...BUT she kept moving!!!

Alecia's Grandfather up in Richfield, UT was SO kind to let us come play and pick out some super cool pumpkins!!  And we had so much fun :)

{update}: miss p

A recent conversation between parents:

Jon:  You know, this show could be so much shorter.
April: What do you mean?
Jon:  If Blue would just tell Steve what she wanted in the first place!  I mean it's ridiculous for him to have to go through all this stuff when she could just tell him!
April:  ?

I also found myself crouched outside Paisley's door during her naptime.  Jon discovered that if you hold his phone upside down we can use the camera to clearly see what she's doing during her naps.  Yesterday that included climbing up on her table, into the window (with blinds) and talking to the world outside, jumping on the bed and generally climbing on everything!!  The crazy thing is that you can't hear any of that downstairs!!

Lately I've been giving Paisley the option of wearing a diaper or panties.  She used to always choose the panties.  Lately she's been choosing the diaper everyday...I don't think she wants to deal with going potty any more than I do!!

She's been talking about her Da Da more and more too, and it's so cute.  I was gone all day Saturday and while Jon was here she fell off a chair on her head, which I guess was pretty traumatic.  While her and I were eating dinner later that night she pointed to the chair and said "I fall" and I said, "Oh?"  and she said "Dada help," while holding her head.  I can't wait until she's talking more!!  I just want to be able to understand everything she's saying!! 

I was having a rough day not too long ago and I had called Jon to whine and Paisley really wanted to talk to him.  So I handed her the phone and she said hello and I love you to Jon.  I could hear Jon ask her if I was right there, and she replied "Mama."  He then told her to give me a hug and she turned and gave me a big hug and said "I love you" and then my heart melted. 

She is such a character!!  Both her and I are struggling with allergies (not as bad as in the past, but they're still there!!) and so we've both been tired and a bit grumpy.  Oh!  And this seems crazy, but for the last 2 weeks I haven't gotten bountiful baskets and that has made such a difference in my mood!  I really think that eating fresh produce everyday makes you feel better in SOO many ways!!  I finally was going crazy so I went to Harmons last night and got a bunch of fresh fruits and veggies.   I've been reading and studying up more on Nutritional Therapy and I'm really starting to think that there's something to it-and it really wasn't until I put it into practice that I've realized the difference that eating healthier has.  It's not that we've not eaten healthy in the last 2 weeks, we just haven't been eating as many veggies and fruits as we have been and it really does make a difference!!  I have been grumpy, tired (and I know allergies don't help either) and honestly craving something wholesome to eat!  It's like we've had scurvy!   Anyway, all that stuff they try and teach in nutrition class is probably true..just sayin'...lol.