{motel davis}

{funnies}: paisley

2012-02-12T18:27:00.001-07:00

Lately Paisley has loved to make animal sounds and loves being asked "What does a cat say? What does a cow say? What does a dog say?" and she'll reply with the coordinating noise. She recently figured out too that she can ask us as well and will follow me around saying "Say cow! Say dinosaur! Say piggy!" Jon and I were sitting at dinner tonight and she was playing the sounds game and Jon said "What does a Mama say?" She looked at Jon and said "Whyyy? (as in, that's all she hears Mama say all day!!). It was REALLY funny.

{family pics}: for valentines

2012-02-07T21:27:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Alecia was kind enough to take our family pictures. It seems like we just had them done, but I look completely different as a brunette again and I have a bit of a belly now so I thought it would be fun to show it off ;) Paisley was her busy self and refused to sit still for even a moment....she is SOO busy!! We missed doing Christmas cards this year so I thought it would be fun to do cards for Valentines!

my dear, sweet monkey...

{big news}:

2012-02-02T11:31:00.001-07:00

I've been debating whether or not to blog about this but I feel like it's easier to write it all down and send people here to read it than to tell the story over and over again...

I got a call yesterday from LDS social services explaining that my biological mother was trying to get a hold of me, and if I filled out some paperwork and turned it in, she would have my information and I would have hers. I was quite overwhelmed getting off the phone with them-particularly because all I had to do was print off a couple of papers from my e-mail, sign them, and suddenly I would be given the information about this person that made me. whoa.

So I did, and ran down to LDS services here to have them notarize and fax everything. After waiting a couple of minutes, I was handed the paperwork-with a name, address and phone number. holy cow. Unfortunately I left my cell phone at home, and when I returned I had already missed a phone call. So I put Paisley down for her nap, and called her back.

My first impression is that she has the most darling southern drawl. I was born in Atlanta, Georgia and she still lives there-amongst most of my biological extended family. I have siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins...and I was finally able to hear the stories of how I came to be, why I was put up for adoption, and how things are now. super interesting. I'm still just reviewing it all, and so grateful I started taking notes. There is still so much to learn about and I have yet to see pictures!! (my biggest curiosity) So I'm sure I'll be updating here and such as this story unfolds...

{thoughts}: on a tired monday

2012-01-30T15:48:00.001-07:00

Today, a list.

Is anyone else bugged that you HAVE to use chrome to blog now? I'm super stubborn about what browser I use and I'm bugged...
I hate doing laundry. I don't mind washing it, but I don't want to fold it and I REALLY don't want to put it away. ug.
It is amazing how my house can be spotless-moped, vaccumed, scrubbed and smell-free one day and completely destroyed top to bottom in a matter of 3 days. And when I say destroyed, I'm not messing around.
My child who was once potty trained, has decided to pee where ever she wants. awesome. In her defense, she's getting some molars and has been having a rough go with it, but still...
I love the sunshine. I feel so blessed to live here in StG where it shines all year round. Nothing lifts my spirits like going to the park and basking it it.
I have to pee. again. and always.
Does anyone have a quick cure for anemia? It's killing me. I'm on supplements, and I'm trying to eat more steak but I just want to be cured today. please?
I probably need a nap...this list was a wee bit more grumpy than I'd like to admit I'm feeling...

{on my mind}: labor and delivery

2012-01-23T15:21:00.001-07:00

I have had this post putting itself together in the back of my mind for awhile. You see, I've really immersed myself in all things baby-particularly when it comes to the labor and delivery part. Pregnancy is hard on me and focusing on the end goal really helps. And the fact that this baby has started moving and I can feel her! MMMMmmmm...I love. It's the best. Anyway, I've started to string together some philosophies/ideas/and such and I want some suggestions and feedback.

I really want to go drug free this time. Honestly, it's not even so much about being able to say that I did it, or to prove my womanly-ness or anything like that. The more I've studied statistics the more it seems that doing things drug free cuts down on recovery time. It also seems to help prevent further intervention (which I really want to avoid). I also want to try and deliver standing up or squatting. This paints such a weird picture to most of us western-cultured women...and I really do still think it's weird. BUT every birth I've watched standing they don't have to push!!! Gravity works it's magic and the baby has the opportunity to descend gradually (ideally doing less damage). This sounds nice.

Now, with Paisley I really had minimal damage. I walked away with 2 tiny stitches and no real tearing. I was lucky too because I made it to transition before getting an epidural and only needed that epidural for an hour (so it wore off right after). I have no complaints. Things went so well with her and I was so happy with both my nurses and Dr. Benham. I actually had a lengthy discussion with my mid-wife because I felt so bad leaving my Doc because he did such a good job. One of the things that sold me on Dr. Benham back when I was interviewing OBs for Paisley's delivery is that he is compared to a midwife the most of all the doctors in town-he's a very patient man, he doesn't like to induce, he has the lowest c-section rate and he doesn't see a need for women to receive episiotomies or to tear. He considers delivery a success not just because you produce a healthy baby, but because you have minimal to no damage. I worried that without him massaging my perineum I would tear with this one but she reassured me that this is highly unlikely-especially if I'm free to be in whatever position I want.

Ultimately I switched to Katie because she's my cousin and she's awesome. She was with me as I was delivering Paisley and I loved having her there. I'm also super excited to have her there continually while I deliver this one. I had great supportive nurses-but they get switched over at shift changes and you really don't see your Doc much until the fireworks start. I think having a constant support from when I get there to the end will be a big help.

Something else that has got me super excited is that our hospital is installing tubs in 2 of their rooms!! Yay!! With Paisley they wouldn't let me get into the tub because my water broke at home so I spent my time bouncing on a ball in the shower. The thing that was so hard about this is that I would just get comfortable, find my happy place, relax...and they would come get me to get all dried off and get into bed to be monitored. I wanted to be monitored BUT having to sit still in a bed is not super fun when you're in labor. Bouncing on a ball with the nice warm water on your belly IS super fun when you're in labor. After a couple of cycles of this I got overheated as I was getting out, had the strongest contraction of my life, and started puking at the same time...which led me into a panic ( I hit transition), ultimately into a downward spiral (Oh my gosh I can't do this for 10 hours!!!) and then to an epidural. OOOooohhhh and that epidural was the best thing that ever happened to me...it really was.

So here's why I'm excited. They've changed some rules at our hospital so that if I want to get into the tub, water broken or not I can. Awesome. Because I have opted to go with a midwife, she isn't as concerned with continual monitoring and can check me WHILE I'M STILL IN THE TUB!! Yay!! This, I'm hoping, is my ticket. Water was my friend and my happy place and I think if left alone in my tub, not having to leave I may be able to make it. Unfortunately our hospital isn't on board with the waterbirth thing, but I can literally just stand up above the tub and deliver if I want...so that's not too bad.

So basically, I've tried to set up everything as ideally as I can based on what I went through with Paisley. I know that water helped, I know the length of my labor (which I think will help me a ton this time because it's usually shorter the second time around, right?), and I know I needed and appreciated continual support. For those of you that have had babies, what helped you? Even if you ended up with drugs or not, what kept you going up until that point? What classes did you take? Was breathing helpful? What techniques? Did music help you? Distraction?

I don't like hypnobirthing. They lie too much (labor hurts, it's not in your head) lol. I have studied up on the Bradley Method, but I haven't taken a class...has anyone? Was it beneficial? I've watched tons of documentaries, online childbirth education classes, and at this point I think I've read every single book our library has on the subject. I've also started keeping up on a couple of amazing blogs that have really offered some great tips. Probably the most important thing to me is looking for techniques that recognize the pain (because it's real!) and help you deal and work through the pain. I think water is going to be a big factor for me, but I feel like it can only take me so far. Soo, thoughts??

{lyrics}: from the avetts...

2012-01-19T10:13:00.002-07:00

I love you but I can’t remember why
Stars fallin’ from high forgotten sky
I was a one-line wonder in my own love song

I keep a little journal by my bed
Dreams help me find the words I haven’t said
Like when a little girlie said goodbye to me

From behind a screen door
I won’t see her again I’m sure
Didn’t I say I need you
I tried to move on but I can’t
I tried to think of bad times
Good memories are all I have

I love you but I can’t remember why
I’d love to find a reason to deny
I was a one-hit wonder in my own hometown

And I guess I might have made a few mistakes
But maybe that’s exactly what it takes
To get a little happy in this big sad world

How many have you made
And which of those have you laid on down to die
Well didn’t I say I need you
I tried to move on but I can’t
I tried to think of bad times
Good memories are all I have

The Avett Brothers

{holidays}: the new year

2012-01-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to go ahead and apologize for the constant complaining. Magically with the new year I've gotten a second wind and I'm feeling like I'm alive again. There is something wonderful about packing up the Christmas tree and cleaning up all the wrappings, finishing off the goodies and sending family back home to their houses.

Jon was kind enough to help me deep clean the living room and kitchen-something it has needed for a LONG time and I LOVE having a clean house!! We finally accepted that we have lots of stuff, that we need a room for the baby, and that she's not going to fit in Paisley's room...so we broke down and rented a storage unit. Jon claims this is a first step to really becoming hoarders...I really don't feel bad because if we had a garage we wouldn't need a storage unit. Ideally we'll buy a house sometime this year...add that as new years resolution #1...and so this should be a somewhat temporary arrangement.

In the meantime cleaning out a space to put our new child and realizing I get to update Paisley's room as well has been exciting. Her crib turns into a toddler bed and that's what she's been sleeping in but I'm thinking the sooner I can get her into her own toddler bed, the better so that she has no reason to blame the baby for stealing her bed. Thankfully, she's been potty trained for the last couple of months so I'm hoping by the time June comes that will be MORE than routine. And she continues to amaze me everyday with the new words and phrases that she's picking up! Her vocabulary is multiplying like crazy and I just can't believe how well she's doing.

Now, if we can just decide on a name for this child. We were completely surprised it was a girl. I'm still not sold. The ultrasound tech said she was 92% sure...so maybe it really is, but I just had such a strong feeling it was a boy!! I don't know. We had tons of cool boy names picked out, but we're tossing around a bunch for a girl...we'll see. I'm getting more and more excited to meet her now that I'm feeling better and better everyday.

Now for some Resolutions:

I always say lose weight...which is a little unrealistic currently considering I should be starting to gain some weight in the near future...so yeah-how about we'll revisit this in June?
Exercise: this I'm really really hoping I can do. I went to zumba for the first time last week in 3 months and it actually went WAY better than I thought it would. Hopefully this will continue to be a possibility...we'll see. I really feel like you have to play it by ear!
Read Scriptures: I've completely lost this habit and I need it back.
Buy a house: I'm hoping if we put it as a resolution it will happen? I can say I am SO grateful that we've waited as long as we have to make this investment-so much has changed for us and the market and I think this may be the year we've been waiting for!
Become more organized: I really started getting more on top of this last year and I want to continue.
Keep the house cleaner: Sometimes I let things go TOO long and I need to get back on a schedule. I know it's had a lot to do with the pregnancy and sickness, but still, there's definitely room for improvement.
Get back to healthy eating: This has just been weird. All I want is crap for food. I could happily eat cereal, buffalo wings with bleu cheese and macaroni and cheese for every meal. seriously. It's disgusting. It seems the less nutrients, the better. AND I don't really like chocolate that much...I'm not into cookies, candy-none of the sweet stuff AND I don't like veggies...so obviously there is something wrong with me. I'm hoping with the nausea subsiding and the energy back I'll want to eat food again...particularly food that offers ANY nutrition...
Spend more time taking pictures: I fell completely off the boat...like there isn't a single picture of Thanksgiving...I took a little bit of video at Christmas-and that's it. It's bad. Beyond NEEDING to take them I really want to spend more time taking them for fun-like as a hobby, instead of just as work.
Keep a plant alive. They always die. Always. Unless it's bamboo-but seriously, I can do better. I just need to.

I think that may be it...probably not. I've got plenty to improve on...I'm just so glad I have some desire to do something-it was getting pretty bleak there for a while. What are your resolutions?

{update}: the pregnancy

2011-12-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

The most common questions I keep getting asked are now answered:

Yes, I am still sick. No, it's not going away and it's just as bad with my second, if not worse. I am starting to believe that the worse-ness of it is simply because I cannot sleep my life away like I was able to with Paisley because of, well, Paisley. However, thankfully I am getting some energy back and while I still throw up my guts if I don't take my meds, the nausea isn't as strong... Distraction seems to be the best medicine for me-getting out, seeing people, etc, but at the same time wears me out terribly.
We find out what we are having TOMORROW!! Yes, I am SUPER excited. I had no idea that my office would do a 16 week gender check and I am super excited to see what we're having. I just want healthy really...a girl would be nice because we already have everything, but it would be so fun to have a boy...so it's hard to say what I want. I kind of think it's a boy...but who really knows until they get here anyway, right?
Yes, I have the most amazing midwife in the world. My awesome cousin Katie is a Nurse-Midwife here in StG and is backed by Dr. Lunt-who seems to be an awesome doc. I am beyond excited that our hospital is currently installing tubs in 2 of their rooms including equipment to monitor while still in the tub. They will also allow me to get in the tub if my water breaks (something they wouldn't let me do before) so I'm hoping if things go as quickly and as smoothly as they did with Paisley I can just pop this one out drug free. We'll see. Labor hurts-I remember that part, but water saved me last time-it was the getting out of the shower and monitoring that killed so I have high hopes that if I can stay in the water I can make it.
I think, MAYBE I'm starting to feel the critter move. Maybe. There's been a few flutters here and there that seem familiar but nothing huge yet. I can't wait for that. That's my favorite part-and really the only reason I was willing to get pregnant this time. It seems like Paisley was really distinct around 17 or 18 weeks so I hope I'm getting close...
And yes, I would love it if you want to come rub my feet and clean my house. So sweet of you for asking...lol. I'm trying really hard to stay positive and keep my chin up but some days are hard. I really do have the best and most patient husband in the world. He tries to take care of me and it's very sweet.

{laughs}: read

2011-12-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

When I read the bottom one I was laughing so hard I was crying-as was Jon. There have been too many days Jon has come home to me in the exact same state I was in when he left-and our nude child running around the house destroying what may be left of what I accomplished...too funny.

{special}: hyperemesis gravidarum

2011-12-11T11:20:00.001-07:00

I love this book. I cried a lot while I read it. I'm really struggling. I think the hardest part is that I will have a good couple of days where I'm not AS sick so I start to think maybe it's letting up. And then it comes back-with a vengeance. I keep hearing it's supposed to be so much better with my second baby. Nope. I actually think I might be worse. I also made the mistake of not realizing how much the zofran really is keeping me alive and missed a pill. I didn't recover for a couple of days. I keep thinking it's not doing much because I still feel so sick all of the time. It is doing SO MUCH.

You see, I am part of the blessed 1% that has hyperemesis gravidarum meaning that left unmedicated I would lose more than 5% of my body weight (which I did with Paisley before meds) and that most likely I will be sick for the entire pregnancy (also how things went with Paisley). Morning sickness is such a hardship that is really difficult to explain. I'm so happy to be pregnant because it results in a baby, BUT I'm not actually that happy to be pregnant because I feel like I have a disease.

I see why it's hard for people to understand too-if you've never been sick for weeks at a time, constantly trying not to throw up, gagging often, you just can't understand how it is. I feel like a terrible mother-we just watch tv all day. I feel like I've completely lost track of any sort of healthy diet-all veggies are gross to me, as is meat (minus buffalo wings, who knew) but coke and any starchy carbs are great.

I try so hard to be normal but I feel like I'm over compensating half the time...I just don't feel like myself and if I'm left to my thoughts too long all I can think is that I'm going to be sick until June. That is so far... So I've been tired and grumpy and ultimately just a sad case.

Normally I try to avoid blogging too much when I'm in this state...it's funny because when I was sick with Paisley there were just a couple of months I was mostly absent from blogging for this same reason. All I can do is keep praying that I at least get my energy back in the second tri like I did with Paisley-that helped out immensely with making the sickness bearable last time. This time I wanted to blog this mostly for myself so that looking back when I want another one I can read this and really think long and hard before I do it again. Also, really just to reach out and offer any support to anyone that is going through this as well...its hard.

{holiday}: gifts

2011-11-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

I was just reading in my Martha Stewart magazine and they had asked readers what the best gift they had given was. Then a friend of mine had this song post on FB and the memory just couldn't help but flood back...

I was living down here in St. George and Jon was back home in Idaho Falls. It was December and I had plans to go home and visit him. I'd led him to believe that I wasn't going to be there until right before Christmas but luckily I was actually able to take off from work a few day earlier than he thought. At the time I didn't have a car-I was just buzzing around on my scooter so going home meant finding rides or flying...but this time it meant Greyhound. I hadn't ever ridden on a Greyhound bus, and I honestly can't recommend it. I remember so clearly my roommates and our friend Patrick dropping me off at midnight at McDonalds with my bag and my snowboard. We stopped in Cedar at the station where I paid for my ticket and headed on our way. I ended up sitting next to a nice looking black guy-and woke up in Salt Lake-my head on his shoulder and arms curled around his. lol. I'm a friendly sleeper.

I called Jon from Salt Lake and told him a long story about being called into work early and not being sure if I'd even be able to get home! I remember him asking me how I was even planning on getting up there and telling him I'd figure something out. It was awesome. This is when the fun really began. I got onto another bus and unfortunately the only route from SLC to IF meant stopping in Logan-making a 3 hour drive a 6 hour one. And we stopped at every single little town on the way. I had no idea. There was a really random station out in the middle of nowhere-this is where a nice man from the back of the bus tried to sell me some weed. Then we got back on the bus where everyone in the back proceeded to smoke said weed. I also got to see some magazine porn for the first time. lovely. Did I mention they were passing around whiskey as well? And the funniest story from one of the guys about how his wife is abusive and he only married her so she could get citizenship and he was travelling cross country to see her so they could divorce....it was a colorful trip. A lot of the details are blurred at this point, I just remember I never really wanted to ride on a bus again...

Finally at noon, 12 hours after leaving St. George I arrived to my parents in Idaho Falls! We ran home and I called Jon to find out where he was and what he was up to. I explained I was on break at work (while actually driving in the car to his destination). He was clear across town at Wal-mart so I drove there as fast as I could. I remember asking him as I headed in the door where he was-he was in the Christmas card aisle with Gayle and they were picking out cards for his family. So I found him, ran up to him and kissed him under his ear. He froze. Surprisingly he looked at Gayle first and she stood-mouth wide open-gaping at me, which I think freaked him out worse. He finally turned and looked at me...Oh I loved his face!! He mumbled and mumbled that he was just talking to me and that I was in St. George....

And that's the best gift I've ever given. I finally surprised him...and he surprised me over that Christmas break by proposing. And here we are...

Oh, and the song? I listened to that on repeat for the entire 12 hour drive...you know, when I wasn't being offered weed or porn...lol.

{news}

2011-11-17T20:00:00.001-07:00

Soooo...I am with child. I've been dying to talk about it (mostly so I can complain, I'm awful) but I wanted to see the critter first and the heartbeat and there is definitely a baby in there!! Hopefully this child will be debuting mid-June, making me 10 weeks along.

I think I'm actually more sick with this one that I was with Paisley. I don't know if it's just that I have a 2 year old to chase around, or if I'm actually sicker, but it's been a rough 4 weeks! My fear is that I will continue to be sick the full 9 months like I was with Paisley-so pray for me!! I've turned into this sad monster that mopes around crying and puking everywhere-but thankfully not as much as I could be, thanks to my magic friend Zofran!

We really are super excited, but if this continues to be as rough as it's been I'm thinking this may be our last natural child...I don't know. I'm not a fan of the person I become when I'm so sick all the time.

And to those sweet people who have been loving on me and taking care of me through all of this...Thank you so much. ♥

{read}: go have a laugh...

2011-11-15T10:46:00.001-07:00

Go read this: http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

I promise, it's a good laugh. My friend Stevie posted it a year ago and then again a couple of weeks ago and I've been meaning to repost it for a laugh and today is just one of those days...

Enjoy!

{holidays}: halloween

2011-11-03T12:43:00.001-06:00

Soooo...I was super lame this year and really didn't get a lot of good pictures of anything for Halloween. These are really the 2 best of Paisley...I should have gone out during the day or something, but it just didn't happen. She was Cinderella!! We hadn't put her shoes on yet for the bottom picture, but she wore glass slippers too (I found some sweet sparkly jelly shoes at DI!!) She was so excited to wear make-up, but not excited to let me curl her hair so we mostly just got the bangs. She was so darling Trick or Treating!!! She would go up to the doors and say "Please?" or "Treat?" The next day she grabbed an orange pail we have and headed out the front door to go "treating!" It was so funny. She LOVES candy and is constantly asking for some now that she knows where it is!!

My sweet little Cinderella

{organizing}: bills, budgets, and a binder!

2011-11-02T14:15:00.001-06:00

So I've been working on a project for the last couple of weeks and I wanted to share. My new love is Pintrest and I'm happy to say that I feel like I spend as much time working on projects that are inspired by Pintrest as much as I spend time on Pintrest...so its ok, right? I might be a little bit addicted...Anyway, a recent blog I got to from there had ideas for a pantry revamp, including a family binder revamp. AMAZING!! I have yet to revamp the pantry (it's in the works), but I loved some of the ideas for the family binder so I took some of what she suggested and made up a lot of my own...and it became this!! My new Bills Binder:

Something that she suggested was the dividers with pockets-super brilliant idea!! I used to put my bills in a bin and sort through them twice a month or so. Jon has never been involved in the bill paying and it's something I've wanted him to be involved in for a long time. With this system, paying the bills could be done by Paisley!! I made a tab for each bill that we have with a cover sheet with the logo and following information and due date. This way ANYONE (which is a little scary) could log into any of our accounts for any of our bills and pay them. This way when I forget which password is which, or I have customer service on the phone I can readily reference all my information quickly! I also plan on keeping all the bill stubs for the year behind the tab for records and comparison (normally they go into an accordian file, but I hate filing them so sometimes it just ends up being an endless pile!!) So ideally* the bill comes in the mail or e-mail, I place it in the tab folder, I sit down to pay bills once a week (or Jon or Paisley, lol) and I have EVERYTHING I could possibly need to sit down and pay everything. I mark whats paid, place it behind the tab and continue on with my life!!

Another thing that I've wanted is a clean cut "which bills are due when." I hate having all of that on my normal day to day calendar (it's full) and if the two of us are going to be paying bills I really wanted a visual to show when, who and what has been paid. I actually have an app on my phone and so does Jon that was supposed to help with this, but so far I really just like having things on paper. So I put together this worksheet. This way if something gets paid, or doesn't we have a quick reference at the beginning of the binder. I added EVERY bill that is a possiblility-some we don't actually always have to pay (like my Victoria's Secret card), but this way if I do have a balance I have a note to check and pay it on time.

And lastly, the Budget worksheet. This layout is stolen from "One for the Money," but I split it into 2 groups because we get paid twice a month. This way I have a general idea how much spending money I have versus bill amounts in the 2 pay periods. I'm debating on using the cash method for this...we tried it for a minute-it's just super hard because I hate going to the bank!! (we don't have a drive thru on our side of town and I'm SUPER lazy). Ideally too I can watch these and add in the actual as we go to see how we're really doing. Once again, I have an awesome website that make pie charts and everything (mint.com) BUT it updates too slowly and I have to go categorize EVERYTHING that we spend if we want it to work properly. ug. So I'm hoping with this revamp that Jon and I can be on the same page, and that we can be more organized and aware when it comes to bills and budgeting!!

I share because I hope this works!! Jon and I have struggled our entire marriage with bills, budgeting and staying organized and I hope so much that this helps us get on the same page!! I really want him to be involved-to help relieve some stress and so he can see more clearly where his hard earned money is going!! What things have worked for you in your budgeting???

{modesty}: a discourse

2011-10-21T16:00:00.000-06:00

I just spent too long of a lunch being lectured about modesty. I consider myself and my sister (who was there) fairly modest people, and so the lecture-which wasn't even necessarily pointed toward us-was quite annoying. I'm tired of it. Not because I don't agree with being modest, but because I keep hearing the same stupid things over and over again that don't make a lot of sense and I'm tired of all of it!!

(My personal favorite) "Well, people think badly (judge) when they see girls dressed immodestly because they automatically know what kind of girl they are." What??! I'm sorry, but this is some lame excuse everyone has come up with to feel better about judging people. I'm not buying it.
"You just don't understand how men think." I have only heard this phrase from other women. Lots of them were single women. Women that haven't spent a lot of time with men. I have had several close male friends, and now a husband that have given me lots of insight into the minds of males...and yes, they certainly can be filthy. And yes, scantily clad women running around doesn't necessarily help BUT I fail to see how their brain, their agency, their ability to control their thoughts or actions is MY PROBLEM? These men are going to be around women for the rest of their lives, and when it comes down to it are capable of sexualizing ANYTHING...seriously, I know...I have a lot of male friends... Can we help out by wearing some clothes, absolutely. Ultimately, is this MY problem? no.
"2 piece swimsuits are terribly immodest." They are. So are 1 piece swimsuits. All swimwear is tight, cut, and revealing. ALL SWIMWEAR. We recently went to a pageant (which brought a lot of this up) and several girls wore 2 piece swimsuits. Was I shocked because they were 2 pieces? Not so much...more shocked at the lack of self-awareness and inability to realize how unflattering the suits were on themselves. If you are going to parade yourself around in any type of swimsuit, I don't know that it matters much if it's 2 pieces or one. We get to see all of your goods one way or another. Will Paisley have to wear modest swimsuits growing up? You betcha-currently I'm loving tankinis but we'll see what we're dealing with when we get there.
This isn't a specific phrase, but more of a frame of mind. I am SO TIRED of seeing all of the sweet girls embarrassed of their bodies because their parents taught them to be (so they would cover up). It makes me sick. I had a good friend who had been taught to be embarrassed of her boobs all growing up so that her parents didn't have to worry about her showing them off. Now, I'm not an advocate for showing them off, but I don't think it should be embarrassment that drives girls to modesty.
"All naked bodies are pornographic." Yeah, it's because of you people that I had to hide under a tent just to feed my child while I was nursing!!!! ALL NAKED BODIES ARE NOT PORNOGRAPHY!!!! If you believe that, YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM. Please, PLEASE don't tell me that every time you see a naked little kid that you instantly sexualize the situation because that is YOUR problem.
"All naked bodies are disgusting." How sad for you. How sad for your children. How sad that you look at your spouse and yourself in disgust. I don't understand it. I see so much beauty in people and their bodies and it's sad to me that anyone would honestly believe this!

I choose to be modest for many reasons. Mostly out of respect for myself. I don't do it because I'm worrying what everyone is thinking about me (particularly all those FILTHY men), I don't do it because I'm embarrassed of my body, and I don't do it because of anyone else but myself. I also am a member of a Church that advocates modesty. I love how they advocate it too:

"Your body is God’s sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside." from "For the Strength of Youth"

And that's how Paisley is going to learn. She should never be doing anything because of what people might say or think about her and how she dresses is at the top of that list! Modesty isn't even how you dress so much as how you wear it. It's a frame of mind. And for me it's how I keep my undies covered ;)

{autumn}: pumpkin patch

2011-10-10T18:22:00.001-06:00

I wanted so badly to get some cute pictures of Paisley with this amazing pumpkin patch in the background...instead, I was getting a lot of this...

and this....

And I did finally get this one, but only because she saw a doggie...

pumpkins hold still. I like that.

I think this one is my fave.

Now guess how many pictures I had to take to get her in focus and not the fence!!!! And I know, I could have just used the manual focus...BUT she kept moving!!!

Alecia's Grandfather up in Richfield, UT was SO kind to let us come play and pick out some super cool pumpkins!! And we had so much fun :)

{update}: miss p

2011-10-04T12:17:00.001-06:00

A recent conversation between parents:

Jon: You know, this show could be so much shorter.
April: What do you mean?
Jon: If Blue would just tell Steve what she wanted in the first place! I mean it's ridiculous for him to have to go through all this stuff when she could just tell him!
April: ?

I also found myself crouched outside Paisley's door during her naptime. Jon discovered that if you hold his phone upside down we can use the camera to clearly see what she's doing during her naps. Yesterday that included climbing up on her table, into the window (with blinds) and talking to the world outside, jumping on the bed and generally climbing on everything!! The crazy thing is that you can't hear any of that downstairs!!

Lately I've been giving Paisley the option of wearing a diaper or panties. She used to always choose the panties. Lately she's been choosing the diaper everyday...I don't think she wants to deal with going potty any more than I do!!

She's been talking about her Da Da more and more too, and it's so cute. I was gone all day Saturday and while Jon was here she fell off a chair on her head, which I guess was pretty traumatic. While her and I were eating dinner later that night she pointed to the chair and said "I fall" and I said, "Oh?" and she said "Dada help," while holding her head. I can't wait until she's talking more!! I just want to be able to understand everything she's saying!!

I was having a rough day not too long ago and I had called Jon to whine and Paisley really wanted to talk to him. So I handed her the phone and she said hello and I love you to Jon. I could hear Jon ask her if I was right there, and she replied "Mama." He then told her to give me a hug and she turned and gave me a big hug and said "I love you" and then my heart melted.

She is such a character!! Both her and I are struggling with allergies (not as bad as in the past, but they're still there!!) and so we've both been tired and a bit grumpy. Oh! And this seems crazy, but for the last 2 weeks I haven't gotten bountiful baskets and that has made such a difference in my mood! I really think that eating fresh produce everyday makes you feel better in SOO many ways!! I finally was going crazy so I went to Harmons last night and got a bunch of fresh fruits and veggies. I've been reading and studying up more on Nutritional Therapy and I'm really starting to think that there's something to it-and it really wasn't until I put it into practice that I've realized the difference that eating healthier has. It's not that we've not eaten healthy in the last 2 weeks, we just haven't been eating as many veggies and fruits as we have been and it really does make a difference!! I have been grumpy, tired (and I know allergies don't help either) and honestly craving something wholesome to eat! It's like we've had scurvy! Anyway, all that stuff they try and teach in nutrition class is probably true..just sayin'...lol.

{smells}: like fall

2011-09-27T17:22:00.000-06:00

It smells like fall at my house:

Pumpkin cookies baking...check!
Pumpkin candles...check!
Halloween box out...check! (this has its own smell of plastic, leaves and fall)
Halloween decorations....up!

As a general rule I wait until the first of October to put up decorations, but this afternoon just seemed like the right time. I really got my hopes up when the weather changed that it would stay fall and it surely did not. So yes, I have been putting up decorations with the AC blasting, but I'm really hoping we have lovely summer weather this weekend for our trip to the lake, and then after that COLD!! PLEASE!!! I'm so ready for snuggle weather. Paisley had the best time helping me decorate-she loves the little battery operated tea lights and she is obsessed with candles!! She must smell them! She also loved making cookies, and I love that she can help (not that I worry as much as I should about raw egg, but these don't have any egg so there's no worry at all!) Happy Autumn!!

{♥}: love language

2011-09-18T15:42:00.000-06:00

It's about time for some sort of update, yes? I guess I'm tired of opening up the blog and seeing my 9/11 post...sad. Anyway, today has been an awesome day. Elder Dallin H. Oaks came and spoke in person at our stake conference and it was the coolest thing ever. The very best part? Our dear and kind friends watched Paisley for us so we could pay attention. It was amazing. He was actually very funny and cracked jokes most of the time. And when he wasn't cracking jokes, he talked about love. Mostly about the importance of loving everyone-which I love and strive to do. It was a really awesome meeting.

On the topic of love, I've realized lately that food is one of my love languages. Everything suddenly clicked for me through a couple of conversations that I've had lately and some pondering after those conversations. My relationship with food is finally in a healthy state. It's taken me 14+ years to reach this state, but I think I'm here!! It began to click when I over-ate a couple of weeks ago. I haven't over-eaten in a long time and the feeling of being overly full was somewhat strange. To make a very long story short I used to deprive myself of food often and when I did eat-I would over eat, or eat something that "wasn't allowed" and then I would feel guilty, and then I would swear I wasn't going to eat anything bad ever again. I would then try whatever crazy diet I could-tuna for every meal, lemonade cleanses, etc and end up sick and miserable-only to eat a bunch of garbage and start the guilt circle over again.

Up until my pregnancy with Paisley I stayed in this awful circle! After being pregnant and having her I realized that I needed to take care of my body in order to feed an infant, and I finally committed to change. Even in my efforts to have a more healthy relationship with food I still struggled with over eating. In the past year I have finally been able to just eat until I'm full and not need anything more. This is huge for me. I also made a commitment to exercise back in January and I'm so happy to say that I have finally been able to stick with that goal.

Now, I would love to post a before and after picture of me and my 50 lb weight-loss, but that hasn't happened. And the best part is, I'm ok with that. I'm healthy. I enjoy food and don't stay up at night worrying about what I'm eating. I enjoy exercising and look forward to zumba!!! And this, my friends, is why food is my love language. I have finally started to love myself-enough to give myself food. The best part about this healthy body of mine? It's feeling safe enough to let go of some of the weight-and I'm down 5-10 lbs from January (I flux), something I never thought I would see without crazy dieting and miserable exercise. I feel better...in so many ways it's really hard to describe. I love the energy that comes with working out, and the release that working out is!! I still love sweets (and I always will), but I don't have a desperate need to ban them from my life, nor hoard them-and I can handle just eating one if that's all I have room for!

This may seem very basic to some of you that have never had struggles with food. I know that some people that I talk to think I'm nuts when I talk about this like it's a huge break through. For those of you that know what I'm talking about, and understand it too well I hope insights into my journey will help. I just remember reading stories like this and gaining so much hope from them that someday I could be better too and I'm so happy to say that I'm there! ♥

"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise."
Alma 37:6

{events}: 9/11

2011-09-11T12:53:00.000-06:00

There is so much that goes through my mind in association with this event. It's funny because I was listening to the radio that morning and the DJ at the time thought the whole thing was some fluke accident. He was cracking joke after joke about some moron that flew a prop plane into one of the towers...I'm sure he sobered up real fast after all of the news hit. I remember going to school and the hallways BUZZING and I had no idea what to think of everything. My first period Chemistry teacher desperately tried to stick with chemistry and none of us could pay attention. Thankfully my seminary teacher at least let us watch the news...but it wasn't until I got the my 3rd period class that I realized that this was scary. I was a teacher's aide for my German Teacher, Herr Koepplin, during his planning hour and he was kind enough to let me just sit and watch the news. I watched the second plane hit and I remember turning to him and asking if we should be scared...if anything was going to happen to us and if my Dad was ok out at the site (a government nuclear laboratory). I don't think he had anything to say...which scared me more. Most kids left at lunch. Those of us that stayed mostly watched the news. Thankfully they let us into the library and pulled TVs out to the lunch room so we could watch. It was terrifying. I went home to my Dad being home (they released everyone from work that day at the site) and we stayed glued to the tv for the next couple of days.
Unfortunately, now I am an adult and I can see why these events took place. And the fear that exists is much greater, because at this point there really isn't any doubt in my mind that this was an inside job. I'm not into conspiracies...at all, but after watching the footage again it's pretty obvious that it was a demolition. Just recently a tower in Dallas was hit by a plane and NOTHING HAPPENED, because towers that size don't collapse when they're hit by planes. I could go into reason after reason BUT the important thing is that many families suffered loss that day and for that I am sorry. I also have so much appreciation for the very brave that did everything they could to help in such a horrible disaster. It doesn't matter how or why, what matters is all those that were so personally affected by such a tradgedy. I'm so proud to be an American and to live in this great country. I feel like there may be many scary things taking place at the top, but in the end I love the people that make up this country and the sense of unity we all gained surviving this event together. May we never forget to care for our neighbor and fellow Americans and to appreciate those that serve our country.

{summer}: family pictures

2011-09-01T10:28:00.000-06:00

We finally did family pictures. I started planning this in the Spring and originally was going to shoot them then but then I was busy...and then life this and life that...and then I realized we we could just wait for the Fair and do them then! (of course, I still waited until the last minute to make my dress-even with months and months to do it!!) I actually found Paisley's little dress at DI!! I think it's authentic-it's yellow gingham with doilies on it and everything!! Anyway, our friend Chad was kind enough to shoot them for us, I edited and I just loved how they turned out!! It was SOO hot, but we brought a change of clothes so that we could have some fun at the fair!

This last one is my favorite. Paisley could not take her eyes off this panda because she was SO confused. She kept trying to talk to him and he wouldn't talk back and it was very upsetting to her. We have a couple of stuffed animals that move or play music and she came home and then thought they were real too. She sat in front of a monkey that we have that dances and plays music and said "hi" over and over again to see if he would talk and then got very upset when he never did. She may be traumatized....
We went to the demolition derby again this year and it was awesome!! We had a good time, but did not take any pictures...oh well.

2011-08-25T17:02:00.000-06:00

This is my cousin's sweet little girl. Her and Paisley were excited to meet each other.

So last weekend I had the opportunity to go up to Provo to my cousin's wedding. This is super significant because my cousin Brianna is on my Dad's side and they all live in Dallas, TX so I don't get to see them very often. It's also significant because my Grandma Clark came and I haven't gotten to see her since I was pregnant and I really wanted her to meet Paisley and to get some pictures of her with Paisley.

This is the part where I get to whine for a minute. Sometimes I wish that I had a professional photographer to follow me around and take my picture. It would just be nice not to have to worry about it. I made the super obvious mistake of waiting until the end of the night to take pictures...so we're all sweaty and Paisley is DONE. Oh well. At least we got something. It was such a fast trip and I wish so much that I would have had more time to see and talk to everyone. I feel like I saw each person just long enough to say hello, find out where they were in school/job and move on to the next.

Jon had to work since it was on a Friday so Christina came up with me and I was so glad for her help! Paisley was a handful most of the trip-she missed naps both days and it took her another 2 days of being back home to get back on track. She's usually really good but she had a rough time keeping it together there at the end. I have NO idea how single moms do it!! I am so grateful for my husband and for Christina's help on the trip!

I'm just glad I got to go. I love my sweet Grandma and it was so fun seeing my sisters, brother and parents too!

{recipes}: pumpkin enchiladas

2011-08-24T13:22:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I've tried to make it a goal to try new recipes and with bountiful baskets it has been SUPER easy to do that since I never know what I'm getting until I get it! I found this recipe and it is SO easy and super good! I am also trying to post the recipes that I'm finding and share! Enjoy!

Ingredients

1/2 leftover rotisserie chicken, skin removed, meat shredded
6 scallions, thinly sliced
Coarse salt and ground pepper
1 can (15 ounces) pumpkin puree
4 cloves garlic, peeled
1 jalapeno chile, quartered (remove ribs and seeds for less heat, if desired)
1 teaspoon chili powder
8 corn tortillas (6-inch)
1 1/2 cups grated sharp white cheddar cheese (6 ounces)

Directions

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a medium bowl, combine chicken and scallions. Season generously with salt and pepper; set aside.
In a blender, puree pumpkin, garlic, jalapeno, chili powder, 2 1/2 cups water, 2 teaspoons salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper until smooth (hold top firmly as blender will be quite full). Pour 1 cup of sauce in the bottom of an 8-inch square (or other shallow 2-quart) baking dish.
Lay tortillas on work surface; mound chicken mixture on half of each tortilla, dividing evenly. Roll up tortillas; place, seam side down, in baking dish.
Pour remaining sauce on top; sprinkle with cheese. Place dish on a baking sheet; bake until cheese is golden and sauce is bubbling, 25 to 30 minutes. Let cool 5 minutes before serving.

I used a rotissiere chicken from harmons for the meat, but I'm thinking that shredded chicken of any kind would work awesome. I also used dried onions and garlic since I was in a hurry and they blended up super easy with the jalepeno. I was really worried that the jalepeno would make it too spicy so I omitted the chili powder and they turned out very, very mild. And I loved the corn tortillas, but I think flour would be super good too!! This is a fun dinner for fall! Thank you Martha!

{birthday}: 2!

2011-08-21T02:02:00.000-06:00

Paisley turned 2 last week and we had a cute little birthday party for her on Monday night as our FHE. We had yummy cupcakes and cake and she got some of the funnest presents!! I think she loved every minute of it :)

{cooking}: my favorite things

2011-08-13T09:49:00.000-06:00

I love to cook-and I especially love that I've got the time to do it (ideally). Back when it was work and school, or even just work it was super hard to have a desire to cook-even though I do love it. Now that I've been home I've really grown to love it-so I thought I would share a couple of my favorite things!!

Bountiful Baskets: If you haven't signed up for this YOU NEED TO!! I love getting fresh fruit and veggies every weekend and it practically plans my meals for me!! If I get potatoes we have Shepard's pie. If I get tomatoes, we have bruschetta...cooking couldn't be easier then having some of those decisions made for you!
Pesto: Costco's pesto is SOO good and only $7 for the HUGE jar. I love keeping it in the back of my fridge to toss up with some chicken, pasta and veggies. It makes a super fast last minute meal fresh and easy! It is also SOO good smothered on fish and then sprinkled with crushed Ritz and baked.
Red Bell Pepper: I have grown to love these because they are so sweet after you saute them!
Cottage Cheese: This is my new favorite breakfast. I've really tried super hard to eat protein with every meal and this is perfect with fruit!
Whole Wheat Flour: in chocolate chip cookies. Just half though-it makes a much heartier cookie and I get compliments every time I do it!!
Whole Wheat Pasta: speaking of whole wheat-I love doing half and half with pasta too. It makes a heartier meal and I feel like it brings out the good flavor in both.
Homemade tortillas: are a cinch to make. I had no idea they were so easy or I would have started making them from scratch a long time ago. I already was in love with the ones you buy raw and make-but making up the dough and rolling them out is SUPER easy and SOO delicious!
Frozen Chicken Breast/Frozen Fish Fillets: I always keep in my freezer! They thaw in 15 minutes in warm water and are super easy to just throw in the oven or in a skillet and eat with some veggies.
Good Knives: are worth asking for for Christmas. I promise. Jon got me a set 2 years ago and I love them-it makes it so much easier to want to cook knowing I won't be sawing away at veggies-the knives falling apart in my hands. He found a set for pretty cheap on Amazon and I love them!

This last week I made the most delicious Chicken Tortilla Soup...I know it's not really soup weather here right now but this was SOO good! Of course it's a pioneer woman recipe and you can find it here, I can't recommend it enough!! Happy Cooking :)

{nostalgia}: peaches

2011-08-04T13:22:00.002-06:00

I blog today of home and peaches.
Growing up we would come to St. George, UT every Labor Day for our Annual Gubler Reunion. This was a particularly exciting trip for my siblings and I because we were never allowed to have sleep-overs growing up, so the opportunity to stay up all night and party with our cousins was overwhelmingly exciting. We would load up in the van and take the SUPER long drive from IF to StG, gradually getting hotter and hotter as we went. We would often stop in Salt Lake and visit cousins who would then join us on the continuing drive down south. Usually on that stop we would also pick up a box of peaches.

Some years we picked up 2 boxes of peaches, but usually it was just the one.

The reunion was always so much fun. Friday night the adults would leave all of us and go out for a fancy adult dinner. I always looked forward to getting old enough to go to that. Unfortunately, I never got to that point (I'm on the younger end of the cousins). We would gorge ourselves on pizza and stay up all night playing video games and watching movies. Saturday morning was always the service project and adult meeting. We would clean up my Grandparents house, yard, garage, orchard and the like. I always found at least one lizard to chase after! After that we'd eat, play softball, kickball or get into a huge water fight. And that night we would do skits and eat fried chicken. This was also significant because this was the one time a year that I got to eat fried chicken!! SOOO good. We would try and play Saturday night too, but usually we ended up going to bed-knowing that there would be another long drive in the morning. Our favorite card game was Rook-something I remember my parents staying up all night playing with my grandparents...and playing blind Rook with my Great-Uncle Merl was the best! He would let us set the points up to infinity.

Sunday morning we would pack up the van, with our peaches and head home. I think the peaches hold a lot of significance in the story because they were our souvenir from StG. We would eat them one by one and then the box would be gone-and summer with it. We loved eating them cut up with a little sugar and nutmeg and milk poured over the top. It was sad to see them go-knowing that the empty box meant school and homework and fall.

This last week bountiful baskets had Utah peaches. I also had the opportunity to go out and photograph a reunion at my grandparents house. My Aunt's mother bought their house when they passed away and so it was a lot of my cousins (and their cousins) celebrating in the same house, around the same time of year and going there overwhelmed me with nostalgia.

I can't believe its the last month of summer! Let's go play and make it count!

{love}: zumba

2011-08-03T14:40:00.000-06:00

I love zumba. I don't know if I can really express how much I love it. Dance is home to me. I grew up doing ballet-lots and lots of ballet and I hadn't been able to replace that void for the longest time...until I found zumba. And it was a VOID-a hole in my heart. Once you've grown to love something so much...having it taken away was really hard on me. I recently had a conversation with a friend who was a rock-climber he was talking about how climbing uses every single muscle-so much so that you have to push everything else out of your mind and just focus on what you're doing. The same goes for dance. It requires focus and discipline...and it becomes a meditation of another kind. I love it. I am growing to love my instructors more and more as I get to know them and I am so grateful to have found this amazing outlet in my life! If you haven't found something that lights you up inside don't ever stop looking!! It's out there for you...and it may just be zumba!! Love it...love all of it! xoxo

{update}: the flow

2011-07-22T17:01:00.000-06:00

I feel like I need to blog. When I go too long I feel like I must be missing something. And I really do look at this as my journal, and that's probably why I worry.

Life is busy. As usual. We went up to Salt Lake last weekend to relax and visit Jon's best friend from high school-Curtis. It was a lot of fun. They have a cute little girl, and his sis that we stayed with also has a cute little girl and so we had 3 sweet little girls running around and having a great time all weekend. Oh! And the weather was SOO nice! Somehow, I didn't take a single picture. Ooops.

While in Salt Lake I also had the opportunity to meet Jessa's new little baby boy and take his picture. I just love to snuggle newborns. And they smell SOO good. Mmmmm.

I'm trying desperately to catch up on editing. It's happening slowly but surely.

I've recently become an herbal tea drinker. I've always enjoyed it every now and again, but lately I have a few cups a day. It really helps my throat and nose (which, as usual are all upset from allergies). I've found a "throat coat" and an echinacea kind that is delicious steeped together. And it's a great way to get my daily dose of local honey.

Paisley has been doing much, much better. I think maybe she was just going through some painful teething because she's really mellowed out again. She loves to hug me and give me kisses-and I love to hug her and give her kisses too! She is 100% fearless at the pool, and will jump into the deep end before I can get there to catch her! She is getting more and more grown up every day. She now knows how to climb onto the chairs at the table and insists on sitting there, she likes to use big girl cups, and she's really grown more accustomed to her big girl bed. Realizing that she's going to be 2 next month is still really crazy to me-it seems like she's always been here, but at the same time like she was born yesterday.

Everyone around me is having babies. Which leads to continual discussions about diapering, breast-feeding and the like. It's so strange to me that I nursed for the whole year, which wasn't that long ago, but seems like forever ago...and I do miss it. I like snuggling little babies.

And last, but not least-I'm totally going to see The Little Mermaid at Tuacahn tonight. And my dear sweet husband is coming with me. The best part? We're totally going on a scooter date-which we haven't done in a really long time and I'm super excited. I'll try and be naughty and snap a picture to post!

{natural disasters}: our trip to the lake

2011-07-12T11:57:00.001-06:00

Last Saturday we took a trip up to Yankee Meadows. Oddly enough, a good portion of folks I've talked to that grew up here don't even know where this is. (It's off the Parowan exit up the canyon on the way to Brianhead if you're wondering). Anyway-we thought it would be fun to go up and get out of the heat for a day. Unfortunately, the weather has been really stormy and after coming out of the movie late Friday night to a raging thunderstorm (Transformers was awesome, btw) we debated going Saturday. Saturday morning I woke up exhausted (we stayed up WAY too late Friday night), but decided a nice relaxing trip to the lake might be a good thing, even if we get some rain.
**Side note: Paisley has been throwing some EPIC tantrums lately. I am now realizing it has more to do with her teeth killing her than her disposition, but regardless Friday I made the mistake of going to Target with her toward the beginning of her nap time and she screamed the ENTIRE hour I was there-with a full blown wrestling match at the cash register. Wrestling a wiggly, screaming 25 lb weight has really begun to develop my arm muscles and I think I could actually hurt someone if I punched them!! Oh, and I tell this side note because I actually woke up sore from the wrestling-both emotionally and physically.

Back to the story. Saturday morning we threw everything together and left with Chad and Sarah to drive up to Cedar. Paisley chose not to sleep, even though we left at nap time and she usually sleeps in the car. We stopped at the Cedar City Wal-mart to top off our supplies and Paisley decided to again throw an epic tantrum. It was bad. I took her out to wait for everyone else to check out and again had to spend a good 10 minutes wrestling with her, screaming at the top of her lungs. (I didn't think to just get the car keys) It was quite a scene. After that we stopped at Pastry Pub (LOVE!!!) and were on our way up the canyon. At this point, Paisley finally passed out from what could only be exhaustion. I was so grateful because she really is such a good kid as long as she gets her naps. 5 minutes later, she woke up. argh.
We made it up the canyon, to Yankee and parked, realizing that we needed to prioritize what we needed from the car to hike around to the other side of the lake. Luckily I took an extra diaper and hoodies and dressed Paisley in warmer clothes (it was around 60 F, so not TOO terribly cold. We grabbed the fishing stuff and hiked around to the other side. Just as we had set up our benches, finished our lunches and started fishing, Paisley went ahead and fell in the lake. She was fine-but she drenched all of her clothes!! So we dried her off and I wrapped her up in her blanket and she looked like she was going to go to sleep!! nope. Then it started to downpour. Luckily I had our thick denim blanket so we huddled under there until it stopped, Paisley screaming and thrashing a good portion of the time. Then the rain stopped and Paisley wanted to run around. Not wanting her to soak the one clean diaper I had put on her (if she happened to fall back in), I took it off and just let her run free. (this is when the above pic was taken). Luckily too when the rain would stop, the sun would come out and it would warm up quite rapidly. We fished and sat for a bit, and then Paisley fell in the lake again. She actually fell in the moment after I took the picture.
*Second Side note: This last week Jon finally acquired the phone of his dreams. He loves it. It is brand new and shiny. It is expensive-and while it is insured, it will still be expensive to replace.
Jon jumped in to save our child from drowning, once again. And took his phone into the lake with him. You can imagine that his mood was not so great for the rest of the day. In my defense-I was taking a picture...and I had the camera around my neck (which is worth more than the phone) and I rescued her the first time. We actually are thinking maybe we should have just left her to flounder a bit longer because she did not learn her lesson...

Rinsed off and clean from her second dip in the lake, we diapered her up, wrapped her in my hoodie and began our trek back to the car to start dinner. The rest of the day kind of went on like the beginning:

The wood was super wet and it took a long time to get a sufficient fire started.
Paisley would not take her second nap-we put her in the car, we laid her out on the blanket, we tried and tried and tried to no avail. Extreme fussing and general grumpiness resulted.
The boys left us to go exploring further up the canyon (they took the car) and I had nightmares of them not coming back...just the thoughts were terrifying.
I burned the tin-foil dinners because I really thought I knew what I was doing...ug.
It down poured again before the boys had come back and everything got soaked...including us.
My cobbler was described as baked frosting with syrup on top.

*Third Side note: Cobblers are meant to be made with canned fruit, not fruit pie filling. So if you use pie filling, it can cause your cobbler to be WAY too sweet. Also, cobblers are meant to be made with a plain cake mix like yellow or white. Not with a vanilla cake mix, which also results in WAY too sweet. If you use both pie filling and 2 boxes of vanilla cake mix your cobbler will probably be described as "baked frosting with syrup on top."

After dinner Jon and Chad hiked a bit up the lake to fish some before we left and Sarah and I cleaned up what we could. We decided to wander over and get the boys after and at this point my arms were so tired from holding Paisley I made her walk. This was the end. She screamed the entire time around the lake...but kept following me because I was walking away from her. And yes, I am a terrible mother-I know, believe me, I know. Fortunately by the time we reached Jon she was so worn out that I picked her up and she instantly fell asleep in my arms. Wonderful. We went back and enjoyed the sunset over the lake for a minute, the boys choking down my delicious cobbler.

And we slept the whole way home.

{holidays}: the 4th

2011-07-05T11:52:00.000-06:00

Our 4th of July was so fun! We spent it with the Coopers and a bunch of their neighborhood. We blocked off the streets so the kids could run free and it was so much fun!

Paisley had a good time with all the cute boys.

I love taking pictures of all the yummy food.

I love chocolate ice cream and ridiculous blue eyeshadow...

Paisley could not get enough lemonade. She completely covered herself in food, sno cone, lemonade and popsicle so by the time it was getting dark we ran in and hosed her down and switched her to jammies.

She LOVED the sparklers!

Some neighbors nearby were lighting off aerial fireworks and she thought the were so awesome! They put on quite a show.

We lit off some of our own...luckily everyone kept their eyebrows.

{growing pains}: potty training+update

2011-07-01T00:07:00.002-06:00

I'm in the thick of potty training and it's horrible!! I know, I know, she is young. I've read in more than one book that 22 months is a good time to start, and I really think she's capable BUT if things don't start going a little smoother here in the near future we may just keep her in diapers til kindergarten. They aren't that expensive...I feel that the counseling that I'm going to need to be ok after this will be more expensive. The method I am most specifically following is the 3 day potty training. I agree with it's philosophy, and like I said, I really think Paisley is capable. I'm just wondering if we took on too much too soon.
About a month ago I decided that I would start potty training this week. I scheduled it on my calendar. I read and re-read the book. I stopped buying diapers and switched to pull-ups (to get the pulling up of the the panties idea). I stopped buying pull-ups so that I could phase them out. We went and bought panties and a cute potty. I put off having my carpets cleaned. Monday night we switched Paisley's crib into a big girl bed. I think this may have been a mistake. You see, she wakes up at 7 and confined to a crib, plays until I come get her around 8:30 (and by 8:30, I really mean 9:30). Well, take away the crib and leave the door open so she can let us know if she needs to go potty and I have a sweet toddler slapping me awake at 7 AM!! Tuesday, after a night of crying (I don't think she initially liked her big girl bed) I put her in panties and we began the potty training. Now, the method that I'm using reccommends giving lots and lots of fluids for lots and lots of practice and wearing panties so that they can get used to that. And soak lots of panties. And do lots of laundry. Fast forward to today. I've done A LOT of laundry. Everything in my house has either been thrown into the toilet, or peed on. And I do mean everything. Did I mention we had apartment inspections this week? That was neat. Oh, and naps? Yep, no more naps. No longer confined to a crib she sees no need for naps-instead she pees on everything in her room (that she has dumped out of her drawers) and does all of this silently to trick me into believing that she's sleeping!!! My child, oddly enough, is a lot like her mother and starts to go a little stir crazy after staying the in the living room for 3 days straight with her Mommy chasing her saying "Tell mama if you need to go potty!" every 5 seconds. Because of that stir craziness, she has chosen to figure out exactly where her boundaries are...slamming doors, whining and generally harassing me as much as possible...all the while me asking her if she needs to go pee.
I actually laid on the floor outside her room so I could peek under the door to see if she stayed in bed for her nap. I fell like this is not why I went to college.
Her redeeming quality? She's dang cute. And she just learned how to say "please?" and then says "thank you." Oh yes, she's just terrible. I had reached the end of my rapidly fraying rope this morning and she curled up on my lap and instantly fell asleep. And then peed on me. And then on my couch that I laid her on...
And if I understand this correctly...I have to go through this with every child I have? Because if that's the case, I may really just have the one...

*Update: I quit. I did. And I'm actually ok with it. I woke up this morning with some new found clarity and I think I'm just going to wait a bit. I really appreciate all of the encouragement-I was in a bad place. I think switching beds and potty training all at the same time is too much to try and do with no sleep (she's still figuring out to stay in bed and not roll out onto the floor in her sleep). So I'm going to give it some time. I think getting adjusted to a bed and also growing up just a little bit more will really help. She doesn't quit understand the idea of a reward system and I think when she does this will be a peice of cake. So we'll see...

{discombobulated}: a list

2011-06-12T18:56:00.000-06:00

Weird feelings. Lately when I blog it's like I just need to empty out all the things rattling around in there. I don't know. And by rattling around in there, I do mean my brain...

Today it's relief society. Do your visiting teaching. And after you're done, report it. Please. For the sake of all of your sweet sisters that work like crazy people... it's a good thing to do. I promise. It took getting this calling to realize just how awesome this system can be if it's done.

Babies. I could talk all day about babies. I just did that Dr. Seuss shower and it was way too much fun. I love the idea, love the theme, love Ember. Pictures will follow.

Health. I need some. If you have any immune system boosting remedies, please let me know. Regardless of the large sums of money I paid the nice doctors-they have yet to find something wrong with me that would cause all of the sickness...and yes, I was sick once again this last week. This time it was a weird stomach flu that left me unable to keep food inside of me. And no, not pregnant.

Miracles exist. If you want to hear the story, ask me. And if you ever want miracles to occur in your life, ask for them. You can you know.

Dreams are weird. Alecia, I'm in the same weird funk you are over some of my dreams lately and I totally know where you're at with the haunting...

I love my husband. I feel like marriage ebbs and flows like the tide and lately it has been flowing. I love the happy times-the easy happy times. Sometimes the happiness requires work and sometimes it's just there.

Someday, like Wednesday, my house will be clean. It will. I look forward to this day...if I can just stay healthy enough to accomplish it!!

Paisley. Mmmmm I just love to breathe her in I love her so. She is my love and my favorite and is still growing way WAY too fast!! Potty training to be coming soon!!!

And zumba. do it. and then go do your visiting teaching.

{projects}: finally getting somewhere...

2011-06-03T13:00:00.000-06:00

This was actually done a little while ago, but it's been so nice having all of her toys in one place-accessible in our living room! I had this all set up in her closet in her room but after seeing my friend Kim put it all together in her nook downstairs I just had to do the same!

I've been on a bit of a crazy kick-I organized all of my closets. Oddly enough, it seems easiest to just do it all at the same time, so I did...for the most part. I finally moved a bunch of crap out of my laundry room closet, I finally hung up all of my jewelry and organized my linen closet, and I went through and cleaned out my bedroom closet-which made room to store all of our extra winter clothes and coats so now I have more room in my coat closet! Yay!! In case you were wondering, closets are hard to take pictures of-or I would probably have pictures of all of them...

I just finished this awesome quilt!! I could have never done it without the help of my friend Morgan!! We teamed up and finally got all of my sewing projects finshed-in one day!!! I am in love with how this turned out!! And SHHH-don't tell Ember!! She never checks anything online so I know she won't see this, but you can't tell her I made one!!

My continual project-who wanted her picture taken while I was taking pictures of all my other projects.

And finally-my favorite-I finished a double sided pirate carseat cover and pirate nursing cover, complete with washcloth corners (for milky faces and added weight) Jessa-they'll be there soon!!

I have no idea what my doctor gave me a shot of when I went in last week-but it was good stuff. I'm still waiting to hear back about my CT scan and blood work, but I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER!! I hope that I'm at the end of a long string of illness, and hopefully I just continue to feel better!

{some fun}: dr. seuss

2011-05-26T17:01:00.000-06:00

I just have to show these off because I just love how they turned out!! I'm doing a baby shower for my good friend Ember and she is doing the cutest Dr. Seuss theme with their baby nursery and I love it!!

{update}: my brain

2011-05-23T12:38:00.001-06:00

Today, I empty out my brain:

Ellen is the funniest female comic. ever. I have finally figured out why-she doesn't rag on men the entire time, she doesn't complain about girl issues...I've come to my own conclusions as to why she may be different-but I love her!!
I also love Bill Cosby. so much. Really, the reason for all the comic love-my very good friend Will showed me a pandora station that is all PG rated comics. I LOVE it!!
I love zumba. If you want to find happiness in life, you will find it in zumba.
If you would like to quickly remove your nail polish, Mr. Clean magic erasers work for that too. Yes, they are going to save the world.
Coupons. new love. I haven't gone completely crazy yet, BUT I saved $15 on my bill just from snipping a few, and I really can't complain about that...
Bountiful Baskets. If you haven't done it, do it!!
Spring Cleaning. It NEEDS to happen. If I can just get myself better, it's GOING to happen. And I know, it's like summer and not spring anymore, but I spent all of my spring sick, and I vow not to spend my summer sick and this cleaning is going to HAPPEN!!!
i love lists.
almost as much as I love lamp.
It doesn't seem to matter how old I get, how much life experience I gain, things that people say and do still surprise me. Particularly the decisions of those that are close to me.
I think, when I finally catch up on all my editing, I am going to start and etsy shop...I have some ideas!!! And I'm excited about them...
Laundry may be the end of me....and I only have one kid!! And we're hippies in this house (in that we wear some things a couple of times before we wash...not underwear, but like pants and stuff). It seems that just as I finish getting everything washed, hung, folded, etc it is time to start all over again. Never-ending...
I think I'm about ready to start potty-training. And before you put your hand up, laugh at me, or sarcastically tell me good luck...I think she's getting close to ready. She likes to do things on her own. About 6 times out of 10 she tells me when shes wet or stinky AND she's really starting to communicate better. I know it's possible, but I'm waiting just a little longer until I'm feeling better and she can take her pants on and off...

A couple of happening in our life:

Audrey, my old roommate got married!! Her wedding was gorgeous and so much fun!

Chad and Sarah finally got married...and it was beautiful.

My sweet husband got to try his had at a little bit of videography. Doesn't he look hott with a camera?

We went camping and could not keep Paisley out of the water for anything!! She loved it!

Jon caught this big guy...

This rotten, rotten squirrel stood outside my window chirping for 45 minutes the other day!!! I finally lost it and went out to chase it away, to no avail. He would not leave! So I grabbed Jamie, who should no longer be referred to as a cat, and she ran away, meowing for the door. Finally, I talked to Jon and he explained the only way to get rid of a squirrel is to shoot it. So I grabbed my camera and shot away...and he did finally leave!!

And lastly, Jessa. Who, if you did not happen to notice, is quite pregnant! She is going to be such a good Mama, and I am so excited for her and Chris! They are naming their little boy Colt and have been working hard on a pirate themed nursery that is so awesome and cute at the same time!

Amongst all of this, I am still sick and I cannot seem to get better. I've been on the brink of a meltdown all week (as anyone that has talked to me at all can attest, sorry guys!) and I finally had a come apart yesterday. My sweet husband has been taking care of me. I'm not quite sick enough to HAVE to be in bed, but I'm definitely sick enough to be miserable. Tomorrow I go to the doctor again, and hopefully we can figure some things out. Ug.

{internet}: fotos and bunnies and spring

2011-04-28T13:21:00.000-06:00

Hi. I missed you. For the last week and a half-I have been without the internet-which has been just terrible and makes me feel like maybe I've grown a little bit dependent. I was forced to call people on the phone or text them if I wanted to communicate!! I actually had to leave my house and see people in person because I couldn't e-mail things!! Just horrible.

I think sometimes my desires to ~~take cooler pictures than everyone else~~ document my life I get caught up in the look at me I'm trying so hard, instead of taking warm loving pics just to capture those small moments. Not always-but sometimes, and being unable to post everything I want to has maybe been good for me. Don't judge, I'm being honest and it's rough. lol

The Jehovah's Witness missionaries won't leave me alone. It's given me numerous times now to practice bearing my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. Maybe it's just because I'm not mean to them, maybe because I offer them water to drink, or maybe just because I asked them questions about what they believe they keep coming back!! I don't really know what to do at this point. I point blank explained that my curiosity about their religion was merely to understand more about what they believe-not because I was looking to switch. And I have very bluntly explained that not only do I believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, but that he restored the only true gospel to the earth. I do have to hand it to them-they know their bible, and I can't fault them for that.

Oddly enough the Jehovah's Witnesses did have some impact on me. They don't celebrate holidays and I never understood why. After some explanation it definitely makes more sense. When it comes down to it-Easter is a pagan holiday (spring=bunnies=fertility=goddess=solstice=pagan) So I really do get why they don't want anything to do with it. It made me rethink how important it is to see through all of the commercial-ness that many of our holidays have become and really try and focus on what's really important. Of course the Easter bunny came to visit our house, and he will continue to, but I think the bunny will be Saturday's holiday and Sunday will be when we focus on what Easter is really about.

Paisley is going through a "mommy's-girl" phase and I can't complain. I'm her favorite person right now and I'm really enjoying it. She has been pleasantly happy lately (I think she's in-between teeth) and it has been so fun. She loves giving everyone loves and kisses and is understanding more and more everyday. Her constant chattering is resembling words more and more and I'm starting to understand the root of what I think she's trying to say. It's nice. I look forward to the day that we can fully communicate!!

My allergies are getting better and better-slowly. I hope these drops are working!! I feel confident in their abilities-hopefully they continue to help!!

I finished The Work and The Glory. I LOVE. If you get the chance, read it. I love how it was written, I love that it has references at the end of every chapter, I love the storyline, I love all of it. I cannot recommend it enough. Be prepared to be a bit paranoid while you read-maybe I was just into it, but I really was more worried about our safety (unnecessarily) while reading the books.

{recreate}: missing

2011-04-12T10:15:00.000-06:00

So...as you can see I've been messing around with the blog. This is the first time I've made everything from scratch and there is definitely some pros and cons... I like what I've done, but I feel it's missing something, so I have some questions to ask...

Is the yellow too bright?
Do you usually look at blogs at 100% on your monitor, or do you zoom in to like 150%?

I thought there would be more questions, but maybe not. Now I just need to figure out what I'm missing...

{infirmities}: day 4

2011-04-07T13:49:00.000-06:00

Right now I am on a mission to cure my allergies-not just treat them with meds. I am under the impression that it's possible to cure them-I have read a lot about it and I believe it's possible, I just need to find out what's going to work for me.

Currently I have invested in a neti pot. While it is not a complete fix, it does seem to be helping. I also am drinking 1/8 C of Apple Cider Vinegar once a day. It is nasty, and the worst thing ever to ingest!! It also may be helping. I'm also taking Las Vegas Allergy Mix drops under the tongue. They're basically a homeopathic method-they're supposed to help me build up an immunity to the things that I'm allergic to.

I believe I'm a good candidate for building up an immunity to things because I'm not allergic to my cat. I am allergic to every other cat I come across-indoor or outdoor-to the point that I break out into hives, but I am no longer allergic to my own. I feel like there is some significance to this.

So I appreciate all the suggestions for medication-but I really have tried them all with zero results. I wouldn't be in this state if they hadn't stopped working. (And yes, I have tried ALL of them-I've had allergies my entire life, believe me I have) And really I want to try and get away from treating allergies solely with meds SO that next time I'm pregnant or nursing I still have something I can do.

Luckily something I'm doing is beginning to work, so I'll keep posting on progress because I'm really excited that I may have found a cure! (at least for me ;))

{infirmities}: spring

2011-04-06T16:54:00.000-06:00

I'm beginning to feel like this is becoming a tradition...every year spring hits and every year I get really sick every 2-3 weeks. I'm done. I quit. The worst part? Paisley has allergies too. For the last 3 nights she has whimpered all night long in her sleep and all day long in her awake-she's teething on top of it, and to make matters worse, has a killer black eye that has to be contributing to her headache:

(these are from Jon's cell phone so they aren't the best...) She also went ahead and found the food coloring yesterday and she now has one pink hand and one blue hand.
If any of you have ANY suggestions for allergies, I need them. I am dying. For reals this time. It's really, really bad. I took Nyquil and it didn't even touch them! It's bad! Since none of the normal medicine is working I have been trying a neti pot, the Las Vegas allergy mix drops under the tongue, apple cider vinegar, and I'm trying to get my hands on more local honey-I don't think I was taking enough of it regularly enough.
I'm tired of being sick every couple of weeks...I don't know what I need to do. I've really been eating healthier, exercising and taking vitamins more regularly...my sleep schedule has been better...IDK!!! Any and all advice is welcome...and hopefully one day soon I will stop whining!

{update}: a couple things...

2011-04-04T12:11:00.001-06:00

I feel like I need to update but there hasn't been any huge event happening so I just haven't written...I guess there are a couple things:

Paisley currently has an awesome black eye. Pictures and story are coming soon. She is busier than ever...she's supposed to be napping right now and I can hear her talking to herself and giggling...I can't decide if it's time to go down to one nap a day-but I really don't want to give up the 2 nap routine!! She is trying words more and more everyday, but her solid go-to words are still uh-oh, shoes, and cheese. She has started kissing everyone on the mouth, which is actually really cute and is getting more and more mischievous every day.
Jon went down to the drag races in Vegas last Friday:

As you can see they went all out classy and sported handle-bar moustaches and baseball caps. They came home sunburned and all hyped up on testosterone from watching the crazy fast cars.
I am dying with allergies. I don't know what to do. I'm going to go get some local honey today and start drinking it like mad. I've heard that the honey really helps-and I've always tried to buy local in the past. It just didn't dawn on me to take it everyday like a medicine. We'll see if it works...
I have been super busy with Spring pictures-I love it, but I haven't been this busy in awhile and it is crazy!! I'm so excited-I've got 2 weddings coming up in a month and it's going to be a lot of fun!
I have been reading the Work and the Glory. If you haven't read this series, you should. I've always wanted to get to know the early church better-and this is the perfect way to do it. While the main family that you follow in the book is fictional, everyone else is not and it has helped me get to know the early members of the church, and more importantly, I feel like I'm finally getting to know the Prophet Joseph Smith. The only consequences of reading the series is that I'm constantly on edge. Being a Member of the Church at the time of the books was very dangerous and I have to keep reminding myself that I don't live in Missouri during the extermination order and that mobs are not going to come drive me out of my house. There was so much heartbreak for those early saints and sometimes it is really hard to read all of the terrible things that happened to them. It's no wonder that they came here!!
Conference was awesome. As always.

I think that about wraps it up...I'm hoping to post more pics from California soon!! We had such a nice little break for our anniversary...♥

{love}: jon

2011-03-21T16:03:00.000-06:00

I didn't have the chance to write on our anniversary, so I'm a bit late-but I still wanted to write. Califonia was wonderful. I love this man so much. We celebrated 6 years of marriage on the 12th of March-and we still like each other!!

After a short trip home to Idaho Falls, I realized how much safety and happiness I have in marraige. Really, how much safety and love I have with Jon.

High School was tumultuous, college was crazy fun and lonely-full of heartbreak and angst. This sweet kid who had no idea what he was getting himself into rescued me-drowning in an ocean of hard emotional issues and filled me with light and love. We rescued each other. We've healed each other. He is my happiness, my love and my very best friend and I can't think of a greater blessing in my life than him. I love him so much-with warmth and safety that grows more every day.

i love you poo muffin.

{valentines}: 80's prom!!

2011-03-21T13:15:00.000-06:00

It seems like this was so long ago-but I'm only a month behind, right? This was such a fun night!! Hopefully next year everyone isn't sick again!! Happy Valentines ♥

{breakthrough}: running

2011-03-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

I think I may have had a breakthrough. The headaches have finally stopped-I worked up all the energy to complain about them and the next day I woke up headache free. And then the day after that too...maybe I just needed to complain? I talked to my Doc about having my tonsils removed and I think that may be a route I might take...but I'm going to wait until we HAVE to pay our deductible for me and then I'll do it. In the meantime I am going to look into a neti-pot or other sinus cleansing device and see if that helps...and I'm enjoying the wonders of modern medicine and taking Chlortab. It doesn't always work, but it's better than nothing and should help me manage for the season.

After months of working out I am finally enjoying the energizing feeling that is supposed to accompany exercise. I know I've been sick, so that's zapped my energy but previous to the sickness I would just work out and then need to lay low for the rest of the day because I was exhausted. I tried doing Insanity back in January-and I went strong for 3 weeks and finally decided I really needed the energy to function. I've been doing Zumba at least once a week and I LOVE it.

I've put off running because I just wanted to be able to say that I did it this time without running. I finally broke and went running last night. There is something exhilirating about dressing up like a dude and jogging at night. I just kept my head down with my baseball cap on and hood up and no one got in my way. Jon was funny because he didn't know how to tell me nicely that I very successfully look like a guy when I want to. It is one of the perks of being a big, tall girl. Running used to be a therapy for me-I learned to love it after high school and I'm not sure why I gave it up. Honestly I would rather do Zumba or swim or dance, but nothing beats how easy it is to put on some headphones and run. Surprisingly I made it the full 2 miles without too much trouble (the route I take is half uphill, half downhill) and the downhill sure did help.

I expected to wake up the same way I have when I push like I did-exhausted and sore, but I woke up feeling pretty good. I went to Zumba this morning and I can honestly say I feel nothing but awesome. I'm tired-don't get me wrong, but I'm not dead like I've been. I'm almost afraid to say anything aloud because I don't want to jinx it-but I'm hoping that this battle I've been fighting with exercise is over and that I can now start enjoying it again.

Now if I could just muster up what I need to wage some war against sugar...

{whine}: diagnose me

2011-03-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

I can't decide if I need to seek medical help or not. I don't know if I just have the lingering infection from the Broncitis, or if it's just the weather, or allergies, or everything combined...I don't know. My complaints:

I wake up every morning with a pounding headache. It roams so I can't pinpoint it to a specific spot-sometimes its in the back, sometimes in the front. Tylenol is effective for about 4 hours-but it wears off and my head starts pounding again.
I also wake up with a neck/shoulder ache as well.
I'm all stuffy because of allergies. Ug. I've started snoring worse which is keeping Jon up and I don't think I'm sleeping as well either.
I'm tired. Always. I have really tried my best to be more active, or get more sleep, or relax more-nothing. There is no difference if I go to bed at 10, or if I go to bed at 2-I feel the same!!
I still don't have my full lung capacity. My lungs are all goopey, making Zumba and other exercise rough.
I've lost almost all drive to do anything. Normally I care that my house is a mess and such but I just don't have the energy to do anything about it! I've really tried to force myself to get out and do stuff so I don't feel so awful but it's not helping...

Almost every Spring I go through a mild depression but I really am not depressed. I'm happy mentally, but my body is sad right now... For the last 4-5 days or so I've just been loading up on Ibprofen and Tylenol and taking some allergy meds and I can at least fake it, but I'm tired of doing that too!! For headaches I hesitate to go to a traditional doc because I don't really want to be medicated-but at the same time if it is a lingering infection then that could be super bad too!! I just don't know what's wrong with me!!

{update}: paisley

2011-03-04T10:35:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I blogged about Miss Paisley. I love her. We have so much fun. I think I've been wanting to hibernate lately-I don't know if it's allergies coming on or if I'm still just getting rid of the Broncitis but the more tired and unmotivated I am, the more Paisley just wants to be a busy. I think spring and life have hit her and she is a BUSY BODY.
About 2 weeks ago marked 18 months for her-which is still so crazy to me because Jon and I still look at each other sometimes and wonder where she came from? Some fun new things that she recently began doing include:

Using "uh-oh" as the universal term for-"I need help" to "I'm doing something I know I'm not supposed to" Yesterday she stood at the bottom of the stairs pointing up and saying "Uh-oh!! Uh-oh." She wanted me to go upstairs and get her blanket with her...
Just yesterday she learned the word "no." She's still trying it out, but I think it's going to be popular for her and I'm not super excited...
She now knows the word "cheese" and "shoes." Cheese sounds more like "cheee" and she only knows it in reference to cheese sticks, but it is super cute. If you say the word cheese, however, and do not produce cheese she will wildly demand cheese until she gets it. We've taken to calling it queso unless we have some for her...
She is finally getting better about holding my hand on the way out to the car. I don't know what it is, but she really likes running towards traffic as fast as she can!
Anytime I begin with the phrase "Are you supposed to be..." she immediately replys with "uh-uh" (as in no). I don't even have to finish what I'm saying and she replies with "uh-uh," unfortunately, she doesn't usually stop what she's not supposed to be doing...
She loves her blanket (snuggles), and must have that specific one to sleep. Luckily we have 2 that are innerchangeable, but I still worry. She also is a thumb-sucker and I'm now just starting to worry about that. She only sucks to go to sleep and usually doesn't sleep with the thumb in her mouth...but ug. We'll see how that goes...
She loves being nude and if she gets away from me while in the nude it's really hard to try and catch her. She's a bit of a free-spirit I guess...
The other day it was time for her nap so I looked at her and said "It's time for babies to go to bed." She stopped what she was playing with, grabbed her blanket, and headed up the stairs and was waiting for me, arms outstretched next to her crib. I am so grateful she is such a good sleeper!! She loves her sleep like we do ;)
She loves reading-she grabs books all the time and comes and sits down on my lap with them so I'll read to her. That's something I fondly remember my Mom doing with me and I love doing it with her!!

She is generally happy and sweet and we love her so much. Yesterday my sister took her to play at the park and had her for several hours and I didn't know what to do at home by myself!! I've grown so used to having her around and worrying about her I forgot what it was like to just be home by myself!! I'm just wondering what we used to do for entertainment before she was around!! ♥

{shenanigans}: harajuku

2011-03-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

This was such a fun shoot!!! If you've never seen our stuff, I am a member of Silly Girls United, a crazy group of girls across the country that love to dress up and take ridiculous pictures. This month's theme was "Harajuku Girls" and it was soo fun!! Here are some of my faves...

I am so happy with how they turned out!! For this shoot I was both the photographer and the editor and it was really fun to have it all come together-especially since I was so sick the entire week before we did it!! If you want to see the full shoot-click on the link I reference above for Silly Girls-and if you want to play-sign up!! I ♥ my silly girls!!

{jaded}: foto

2011-02-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

I get a little jaded when it comes to foto. I really do. I LOVE taking pictures so much....I really, really do. The things about it I do not love include:

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE now-a-days thinks that photography is the easiest thing in the world, and definitely something they should get into.
At this point in my life, I'm totally ok with that-but I hope they are prepared for some of the following.
Clients and all of their woes. People often wonder why my contract is 2 pages long. It's because of awful people. People that cancel their weddings the last minute, people that demand that their wedding pics are done a week after their wedding is done, and people that try and re-edit or mess with my pictures.
And nothing angers me more than re-editing my pics, or better off, trying to claim pictures I took are their own!!
I especially love re-editing late into the night because the bride has a miniscul zit and all 300+ pics that she's in it needs to be removed. Or the Mother doesn't like some small random thing...oh and can we edit someone else in that wasn't there? Photoshop is just like a magic wand, right?
Speaking of editing-I'm so tired of people wondering why it costs so much for just an hour or two of shooting time. Your hour photoshoot is another 6-10+ hours of editing, and SOO much more if it's a wedding. Those 200+ pics from your shoot don't edit themselves.
Why don't I want to just give away all the negatives? Because you'll print them at the cheapest place you can and they'll look like crap! That's the truth, and I don't want my name on it!
Favorite: business taxes. Oh yes, the worst thing that ever happened to me. And yes, they put a lien on your credit real fast but will not call back no matter how many messages you leave....awesome.
Family pics are hard. Kids cry-always. They can't hold still, they don't want to hold still, and I don't blame them.
And please, PLEASE put your outfits together BEFORE the 5 minutes before your family shoot. No, bright teal is NOT an earth tone, and never, ever will be. For some reason, lots of people have different definitions for the word "pastel" and when you say pastel, everyone but 2 may just show up in blue. I even send out guidelines for this stuff!!

There's so many more....and they all have to deal with the all the clients that have yelled in the past...ug. I'm so happy now that a good portion of my clientele are friends and family-it's so much easier when I love my clients. Like I said, I'm a bit jaded-but I love my craft, and I want to continue in it-it is such a joy to be part of peoples greatest moments-births, weddings, deaths, families...I love it so much. But please, think twice before you go on about what an easy thing it is-I've had many a late night that proves otherwise...

{gratitude}: my continual image woes...

2011-02-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful for my health. I have to keep coming back to that because after a week of being in bed I realize even more how lucky I am. I get down on my body sometimes because it could be shorter, skinnier, clearer-skined, less curly, more round (in places), less allergic, and over-all this unrealistic picture of perfection I've made up in my mind. Thankfully, in recent years I've begun to stand up for my body. It carried a baby-and after months of throwing up every meal, it still went to work everyday. It has climbed mountains, swam rivers, protected me from the cold, suffered through the heat, fed my baby and general housed my spirit comfortably and well. And I have abused it! I've kept it up late nights, left it out in the sun, fed it too much sugar, and bleached it's hair!!

I guess in my ongoing struggles with my weight I have to remind myself sometimes to turn off the voice, and just be so glad that while I may be considered obese, at least I can run a flight of stairs, touch my toes, and accomplish the day-to-day tasks that I need to. I still have a healthy beating heart, strong lungs and thick bones.

My body is my friend and I am so grateful for it's healthiness, especially after what I've put her through.

2011-02-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

I think while I'm sick I'm not allowed to post anymore...

In the meantime, does anyone have some great remdies for the following ailments (for both me and Paisley)?

Runny nose
Cough
Fatigue
Mucous
General Misery
Cabin Fever
Allergies
and too much tv.

I'm just so grateful that all the seasons of Scrubs are now instant play...Netflix, I love you.

{topic}: charity

2011-02-09T12:40:00.002-07:00

Charity never faileth. I LOVE the Relief Society motto. This month in our ward our focus is charity and love-we're focusing on a Christ-like attribute every month and this one is perfect for the month of February. Perfect because of Valentine's Day, and perfect for renewing our efforts to carry charity in our hearts starting at the beginning of a new year. I love the topic of charity. It heals. It brightens...so much. It is the light that has gotten me through so many difficult times in my life. Charity is the pure love of Christ. Charity is striving to see others the way Christ sees them, and love them with a perfect, unconditional love. Charity is learning to love yourself-perfectly (completely) and unconditionally-because without this love for yourself, how can you love others fully? Charity helps see and work through pain. Charity calms, soothes, and heals hurts, injustices, prejudices, racism, bigotry, and so many other vices.

45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Moroni 7: 45-47

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

1 Corinthians 13

That last verse in Corinthians 13 is what really gets me-that of Faith, Hope and Charity, Charity is the most important. I taught Relief Society on Sunday and this was my topic and I just wanted to share it with the rest of the blogsphere. May we all strive to hold Charity in our hearts, and Love. Happy February ;)

{inquiry}: is it just me?

2011-02-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of important life questions that I feel I need the answer to:

Because I have been working out, I have been showering more. Because I have been showering more I have been breaking out more. After a weekend of not showering my acne has cleared...and it seems that not washing my face, and not taking off my make-up seems to leave my skin happy and healthier that it is when it's clean. Is this weird? My first thought is that maybe I really was meant to be a hippie, but when it comes down to it I HAVE to shower after I work out because I smell. I've tried moisturizers and gentle soaps, and no soap and it doesn't seem to matter! Thoughts?
It seems that my hunger is directly proportional to the amount of exercising I do and also the amount of physical contact I have (you know, with that husband of mine). The more I exercise, the less I want to eat (which in the case of the exercising I'm doing is BAD) and the less lovin' I get, the more I crave sweets? Also weird?
Exercising is supposed to make you happy and healthy...why do I get sick every time I start a new work out? And seriously, I don't know if it's because I'm older than I was but when does the soreness go away!!?!
It seems that as my desire to go outside rises, the temperature drops...which REALLY doesn't make sense here in St. George!! Just as I'm loving going to the park with Paisley it's ridiculously COLD outside!!
Why can a hobby that brings me so much joy as be accompanied by so much frustration!?!?!
I feel like 25 years of life in I should be pro at communicating with people but I still struggle sometimes! Is that weird? Is that going to be a continual life challenge because it's making me crazy!
And lastly, after working out for 3 weeks solid, I had not lost a pound-and I hadn't been too restrictive or too loose, but after going to a cabin, doing nothing and eating crap for an entire weekend I have finally dropped 3...

I often find myself shaking my head and wondering...

{update}: january

2011-02-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

I feel like I need to post something because it seems like I haven't posted forever (which may be due to the fact that my last post is Christmas pictures). January was a surprisingly long month, which I don't necessarily mind, but it did seem to be longer than several of the months previous. We're kind of running on the same old, same old routine at this point...but a couple of exciting and fun things:

Our silly girls shoot for this month was AWESOME. Pictures will be coming soon.
We almost managed to make it through the month without getting sick-almost because we got sick just this last weekend.
We had some serious fun up at the Cooper's cabin...pictures will follow.
Jon and I were doing really, really well on most of our goals but have been sick/distracted/sidetracked and have sadly fallen right back into bad habits-today that will change!!
Our friend Chad and I went to a Community Ed Gardening class and we laid out plans for our garden yesterday!! He has a fairly large back yard and we are going to utilize all of his space!! I am so excited!
Along with the gardening we are looking into bee-keeping as well...we'll see what the official rules are in his area...
Paisley is teething, growing, learning, and sweet as can be. She is recovering from the worst bum rash I have ever seen, thanks to Aveeno's bum cream and some awesome Vaseline.
We recently took measures to protect our flat screen. If you're wondering the best way to do that-its a quick $20 solution of plexi glass and velcro. Most people can't even tell it's there and it has already saved our TV more than once!

I think that's about it...I've got some fun pics to post from said events so I'm sure I'll be around soon...;)

{holidays}: christmas morning

2011-01-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

I LOVE making christmas candy, and this year I tried out a zebra carmel popcorn-so GOOD!! And of course-toffee, fudge, and some 7-layer cookie!! I love christmas candy!!

The cat once again was not sure what in the world we were doing. She's always loved Christmas because she gets a big tree to hide in.

Paisley wasn't sure about the orange...

But she LOVED her coal!! It took forever to convince her to let me take off the wrappers first..

Our Christmas dinner was YUM-I love ham! We had a nice, quiet, relaxing holiday.

{holidays}: valentines

2011-01-17T16:47:00.000-07:00

I can't help but post these now...I'm sure I'll make more for actual valentines day, but happy valentines in the meantime. I keep seeing all these cute valentine art projects and I just want to play!! It's amazing to me that everywhere I went was already putting out valentine decorations the day after Christmas!!! Oh well, we have to have something to pull us out of winter. ♥♥

If you want any of these to print just let me know and I'll happily send the file!

{the hair}: more fun?

2011-01-14T13:06:00.001-07:00

So, it was time. I had gotten stagnant in my hair coloring and I haven't been blonde in a really long time, so I figured, if I was going to go blonde, I really should go blonde for reals. I actually wanted it as close to white as she could get it...and she did an awesome job!! I'm lucky having short hair because you can fry it all in one session and go straight to platinum. Those of you out there with the long hair are not so lucky. Did I mention my hair feels like straw? It does. It's actually really weird because it really did make my hair a different consistency. Luckily, I have the hair to do that too-it has survived worse. I was super worried it was going to wash me out really bad and that my eyebrows were going to be terrible, but it didn't really wash me out to bad at all-I actually think this isn't as bad as all the times I've dyed it black. Oddly enough I think Paisley has seen me in wigs and weird make-up enough that it did not phase her one bit when I came home from the salon. She just giggled and pointed at me (I hope that 's a good thing). We'll see if it's true about the "more fun"...

{resolutions}: a new year

2011-01-07T13:52:00.000-07:00

This is always so hard because I'm so typical....but here are the resolutions:

I'm not saying lose weight out loud. I'm not doing it. Neglecting a diet and enjoying zumba has been great-I haven't gained any weight and currently I'm at a good milestone that way. When it comes to weight loss, nothing ever works for me and if I don't think about it or talk about it too much, then at least I don't gain weight. I have found that when my desires are to be healthy (such as the case of the candida) I have been much more successful-but if I say I want to lose weight out loud and I do things that most people do to lose weight, I tend to gain. So I just want to be healthy...that's all. So resolution #1 is to be healthier.
Along with resolution #1 I want to do a triathalon. My sis-in-law Shannan is doing one in May and I want to try and participate. I haven't made a final decision on this because I'm really enjoying Zumba and in order to train I will have to pick between the two-I'm sure I'll post more on this later.
Daily Scripture Study is another important goal for me. Jon and I really have gotten out of this habit and we're working to get better at doing this nightly. I finally realized that even if he needs to stay up all night to work on things, I can handle going to bed by myself and read my own scriptures.
Earlier Bed time-Jon and I are nocturnal. Seriously. We can stay up until 3 and 4 in the morning like it's no big deal. And I can feel it slowly killing my body. I'm thinking with the increased physical activity this will become less of a problem...
Drinking more water is also something I want to focus on more. I used to do really well when I worked-I had to have water with me all the time but now that I'm at home I forget.
Taking greater advantage of the awesome outdoors we have around us. This one I am SUPER excited about. We sat down and mapped out where we want to go this summer and when. It's going to be awesome!!! This is the other reason becoming healthier and more active is so important to me-I want to hike, bike and swim all over!

So these are some of my resolutions for the new year...I'm sure I'll post updates on all of them as we go!! Happy New Year!

{treats}: an unusual sight indeed

2011-01-03T12:41:00.001-07:00

I still can't get over this snow!! I've been sick in bed for 2 days now barfing up my guts (speaking of new years resolutions-I've lost 5 lbs!!) and today is the first day I've been out of bed...well kind of out of bed. I knew that this was such a rare occurance that I had better go photograph it so I ran over first thing this morning in my weak state and snapped a couple of photos. I still can't believe it. Happy snow day!!

{wanderlust}: getting to be that time again...

2010-12-29T01:11:00.000-07:00

So, it's late. And I took a nap today, which I know better than to do, but I did and here I am...awake. And feeling that wanderlust creep in...every couple of months I start to crave it.

That may be my only regret to settling down. I love to travel...I love new things, new people, new places but my body craves the security and comfort of being at home...and having a home. literally.

And as I've gotten older, been married longer, had Paisley...we've travelled less and less. I haven't seen an ocean in 2 years!!! We're talking about doing Mexico in the spring...but it's scary with what is going down, and leaving Paisley scares me-mostly because I worry that something could happen to us and she would be parentless!

But as I look at pictures of friends around the world a bit of envy spreads over me. Friends that haven't put down roots yet, still free to roam the globe. We just finished watching the "Long way round." If you haven't seen it, do. I was already loving Ewan McGregor and now I just love him all the more! And so amazing to see what they did!

Really if we ever relocated I think we'll leave the country. It's a tie between Ireland and Germany. We love being close to family and friends, but we've moved before...at the same time, I'm grateful because I feel a strong tie to St. George-like we're where we're supposed to be. And Jon loves his job, and really we're not that far from the ocean...

Hmmmm...I need some adventure I think...

{secrets}: for you

2010-12-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

A couple of life secrets for all:

Buy a clear shower curtain. It's wonderful-it looks cleaner and allows me to see what my child is getting into without having to get out of the shower. Totally worth it. And after watching too much CSI and whatnot, I'm no longer worried someone is going to sneak up on me...
Gel nail polish. MIRACLE. seriously. I've had mine on for 2 weeks-no breaks, no chips, no fake nail-ness to them. Just perfect red nails that look like they were freshly painted.
Couch covers. Most people that come into my house for the first time typically make some remark about what a moron I am for having a white couch. Well, its IKEA, and it's covered (but fitted so well you would never know). After a soak in the Oxy-clean and a bit of Clorox II, it looks like brand new. Chocolate, Strawberries, Tomato Sauce, yes my couch has seen all of those and survived triumphant!
Christmas Goodies. I have not gained a pound over Christmas or Thanksgiving this year. Why? I stopped telling myself no and just enjoyed. I'm nearly positive it was guilt that was causing me to gain weight-not the actual food. And believe me, I've eaten. And all that fudge was SO good.
Mr. Clean magic erasers. As if these weren't the best thing ever, they now have them in mop form!! Saved my life. Speaking of which, please raise your right hand and solemly swear that you will never, EVER allow me to put white linoleum in a house I own!! PROMISE ME...its bad...so very, very bad.

These are some life secrets I have...what are some of yours?

{holidays}: thanksgiving

2010-12-23T18:08:00.001-07:00

The view from my parents backyard...I miss these sunsets...♥

I couldn't stop taking pics of all the food it looked so good!!

I love that Freedom is passed out in the background of this one.

I wasn't the only one taking pictures...

All gathered like vultures around the pies...

Pie, Pie and more pie. Oh, and the best chocolate milk on this planet...seriously.

Overall, it was a fun holiday. We started at Denny's with Jon's Dad and Ilene, then we went to Wendy's house with her family and Jon's Mom and Stepdad, and then we ended up at my house with my family and a couple of my brother's roomates. Unfortunately we were sick a good portion of the time that we were there, but I am so glad that we went! It was so fun to see all of our family and enjoy the wintery weather (although I am glad to be here in warm STG for Christmas!) It was a wonderful Thanksgiving

{gifts}: quiet

2010-12-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

I had a VERY rare and aweseome experience yesterday, and I kind of want to share:

I was on Temple Square shooting a wedding yesterday and it was snowing-wet, slushy snow that kept even the hearty inside. I like to scout out which steps are going to be the best for the day so I walked around to the backside of the temple and found myself alone. Alone. Absolutely no one in sight. Not a single human being. And with the snow blanketing the noise, I was very quietly alone. On temple square. At Christmas time. Some of you may be saying 'I do not see what the big deal is...' but this is a big deal. The best part? As I stood there, under my orange umbrella, enjoying the short second of peace away from a wonderful, but chaotic wedding, the tabernacle choir began to play (because of the nativity nearby) and I was able to have just one moment of much needed peace.

{nostalgia}: it was fun while it lasted...

2010-12-17T17:44:00.000-07:00

It's official. My sweet, darling little girl officially now uses and understands the word "no." She uses it quite well and frequently too. For Example:

Me: Paisley, come here and give that to me.
Paisley: NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!

Or: (whilst running at another child with hands wildly in the air)
Paisley: NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!

Or: (another child is playing with one of her toys, or just any other toy, or looking at her)
Paisley: NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!

She has also started getting sneakier, and stealing things from me more. And if I take them away, down the the floor she goes, screaming the whole way. What happened?

And don't you all say I told you so!

{hilarious}: undeniable truths for mature humans

2010-12-11T23:40:00.000-07:00

I totally stole this from my friend Jessa's blog-I was laughing so hard I just had to share!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

{foto}: business cards

2010-12-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

My new business cards are here! I couldn't decide what to do and I had one of those late night inspirations that was a bit silly...and you'll notice that nowhere I put "swimmer" but I'm underwater, swimming...oh well. So much fun ;)

{grateful}: paisley snuggles

2010-12-06T17:36:00.001-07:00

I know I'm supposed to post about being thankful at Thanksgiving...but it's all been simmering in the back of my head for the last month and is only now finally coming together...

I'm so grateful for my sweet baby girl. I don't know how I ever got so lucky. I just adore her. I look at her sometimes and wonder how I will ever love another child as much as I love her. I'm really enjoying being a mother. I don't ever want to paint the picture that we don't have our strifes and our stuggles, but overall I am so happy with my little family. Seeing her eyes light up at everything that is new in this world is so much fun-I cannot wait for her to grow and learn, but at the same time I just want to keep her..just like this.

In Relief Society our new theme that we chose for next year is Christ. I know that seems broad and simple, but we're focusing on one of Christ's attributes for each month. To kick off the theme, we taught a lesson as a Presidency and I was chosen to share the First Presidency's Message from this month's Ensign, called "Can we see the Christ?" I love it because it is all about seeing Christ in your life which is one of the strength's of my testimony. The reason I love to share it and want people to have the gospel is because I love looking for and seeing Christ in my life. I see him in the blessings we've received, I see him in the love that we have in our home, and I see him in Paisley.

And I love that husband of mine. This may be the first year he has decided to buy my Christmas presents, which makes me giddy for Christmas morning. I like the milestone that we have reached in our marriage. We still like each other, we don't need to yell like we(I) used to, and overall we're happy just to see each other and hang out when we can. It's comfortable, and nice, and I love him.

Overall, through all of the roaming sickness and travelling strife we've suffered, we're well and happy. The delicious smells of Christmas Tree and Cinnamon make our home warm and cozy, and I'm happy to stay we're just staying here for Christmas-something I always thought would make me sad, but I'm actually very happy for.

I guess I'm just feeling very, very blest ♥.

{recipes}: leftover turkey

2010-12-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

I never know what to do with leftover turkey (turkey sandwiches can only go on for so long) so I tried this dish last night and it was delicious! I love quiche anyway, but this really was good. I substituted whole milk for the half and half and it turned out a wee bit runny-so I think I would have just used a little less next time. I thought I would share!!

Turkey broccoli quiche recipe with Swiss cheese and eggs and a little curry powder.

Ingredients:

•1 9-inch pie shell, unbaked
•3/4 cup chopped fresh broccoli
•2 tablespoons finely chopped onion
•1 tablespoon butter
•3/4 cup chopped cooked turkey
•1/2 cup shredded Gruyere or Swiss cheese
•3 eggs
•1 1/4 cups half-and-half
•1 teaspoon curry powder
•1/2 teaspoon salt

Preparation:

In a large skillet over medium-low heat, cook broccoli and onion, stirring frequently, until tender. Drain.
Sprinkle broccoli and onion, turkey, and cheese into prepared pie shell.
In a medium bowl, beat eggs slightly; beat in half-and-half, curry powder, and salt. Pour egg mixture over turkey and broccoli mixture. Bake at 425° for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 325° continue baking for about 20 to 25 minutes, or until a knife inserted in center comes out clean.

I should have taken a pic because it was pretty too, but oh well. Yummmy.

{travelogue}: the picture

2010-11-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

So...we had an eventful return home from Thanksgiving. It seems every year that we attempt to travel is filled with excitement:

Thanksgiving 2004 it took us 8 hours to get from Provo to St. George going 35 mph on the freeway-every gas station we stopped at was out of both gas and windshield wiper fluid because they had been snowed in for the night.
Fall Break 2003 we ran out of gas at the "Weston/Preston" exit. I was carpooling with a group of girls and one guy-he offered to leave us all in the car while he walked to Malad and we said no, that we would come with him-luckily a nice family picked us up and drove us.
Christmas 2003 my friend Kyle and I got snowed in at Nephi and luckily got the last room at the Econolodge-oh yes, the honeymoon suite complete with heart shaped tub and all!!
March 2005 we spin off the road on the way home from being married/honeymoon. This was not due to snow however and thankfully the shop in Beaver was able to fix up our blown tire and put us back on the road.
June 2006 we end up parked on I-15 for 3-ish hours hanging out with a whole bunch of fellow travelers right before the Cove Fort Exit due to a fire.
Christmas 2007 we have a windshield wiper break due to too much ice and a crazy snow storm and luckily coast off the road close enough to an exit that we survive.
Christmas 2008 our windshield wiper fluid stopped spraying because it was frozen at Parowan so Jon ended up disconnecting and sucking out the frozen fluid while laying on the snow covered ground in shorts and a t-shirt with me throwing up the entire way with terrible morningsickness. This was the year we vowed to fly home for Christmas next time.

And of course this year was no different. We ended up leaving a full day early and driving the entire way to Idaho Falls in one night. We were feeling really lucky and smart for beating the storm until we hit Malad. It took us 4 hours to get from Malad to Idaho Falls on what we're pretty sure was a closed road. It was bad. I woke up sick when we got there and Paisley too. She had been coughing at night which I thought was due to teething, but she continued to get worse the entire time that we were there and so did I. We had a nice relaxing Thanksgiving with all of our family (pictures will follow) and had originally planned to leave Sunday. Well, of course another storm decided to roll in so we decided to leave Saturday night. We woke up Saturday to find that we needed to leave NOW so we packed and we left. I'm so glad we did. By Tremonton Paisley was fussing and sad so we stopped and I discovered dried blood on her hands and in her ear. With my medical training and the internet to help freak me out we decided to stop and get her checked out. Our friends Steve and Kim were in Salt Lake and we had already talked about caravaning with them for safety so we decided to hit an Instacare in Salt Lake and then continue on with them since they couldn't leave until a little later anyway. So we stopped. Paisley's heartrate was up in the 200's (very bad) and she had a temperature of 104! I had been giving her Tylenol because I knew she was feverish but I had no idea she was that bad! Apparently she was dyhdrated-something I hadn't caught and the doctor didn't immediately catch either...I felt so bad for her. They gave her some Tylenol and Ibprofen and gave us a popsicle and sent us out in the lobby to see if we could get her heartrate down. No such luck. So they did an urine/blood sample (she was NOT happy) and the Doctor came in and said that they may need to send us to Primary Children's to observe her overnight! That freaked me out. Then she came back and said they re-tested her blood draw and it looked better. So she ate popsicle after popsicle and still we couldn't get her heartrate to come down. Finally the decided to start an IV which is what you see in the picture. They had to wrap her had so she wouldn't flick her wrist and mess up the flow. In my stressed and sick state I told Jon to take a picture (you know, for memories) and he used my phone and posted it on Facebook, not realizing that he hadn't put a caption or explanation of any kind. Paisley finished the IV and they left a hep-lock for me to push saline the remainder of the way home and when we got home in case we had to take her back in for another IV when we got here. So we stopped at Walgreens to load up on some more meds and tissue and were headed out when the phones started ringing. Our entire family somehow had seen this picture, and knowing we were travelling assumed we had been in an accident. Any family that had not seen it, was called by those who had and all were calling us at the same time. I think Jon's Dad was the funniest-he pointed out the Jon was not in the picture which was scary and also that it would have been nice if we could have at least added some sort of caption like: "we rolled the car 3 times, but we're ok" Ooops. So we apologize for the unnecessary panic and we appreciate all of your care and concern for us in our travels. We are so blessed to have things like modern medicine-we were able to come home and control Paisley's fever and today she is all better! Next year...we're flying!!

{adventures}: snow day

2010-11-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

This weekend we had the awesome opportunity to go up to our friend's parent's cabin up on Cedar Mountain and it was so much fun!! We had all of our kids running around and playing non-stop along with all of us parents. We played Wa-hoo, I finally caught up on my scrapbooking, and we got to play in the snow! Something we never get to do down in St. George! We had such a good snow day...

Jon's glasses are all wet from playing outside.

The only candid picture of both of us...

I love this baby and this man!

We thought with the snow we would attempt some family pictures but it got dark a lot faster than we thought it would so we only got a few...

Do you like our Christmas jammies!?! Mmmmm...it was so fun to go visit the cold and the snow-hopefully our trip home through the snow goes as well...

{update}: =update

2010-11-17T09:22:00.001-07:00

So we had a VERY busy weekend. This lovely couple came to stay with us and took over our entire downstairs...and maybe some of the upstairs too. But that's kind of what happens when you're doing Bridals and Engagements all in one weekend! This is Bob and Lyndi-Bob is practically Jon's little brother so it was really fun to have them stay! They were loving our weather coming all the way down from Logan!

[Photo removed due to copyright issues]

Here is a sneek peek at some bridals...you'll have to stay tuned over at the Foto & Film blog to see more!

[Photo removed due to copyright issues]

While they were here we accomplished much. My good friend Alecia helped a ton but letting us borrow her skills and house for a day for some pictures. We also took the scenic drive out to Enterprise to hang out with some horses. And yes, getting up at dawn to take pics really is worth it...Did I mention that we all got the stomach flu and spent Sunday throwing up together? It was awful. Paisley had it earlier in the week and Jon had it all day Thursday, so we thought we'd be ok. Nope. Ug.

In other news, Paisley is getting more teeth. I can feel them starting to cut through so she's a sad, sad mess. She refuses to be anywhere but on top of me somehow. I must be holding her, or hugging her or she needs to be sitting on my lap in order to be ok...so I'm getting a little clausterphobic. She has also learned the trick that if she lays her head on my shoulder and then nuzzles me that I melt and want to snuggle her...it's terrible! Oh well, I missed the snuggling so I guess it's not all bad.

{lds}: sunday school

2010-11-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

"If you only turn to the Lord in trials, you will have many, for he will want you to turn to him somehow." -Our Sunday School Teacher

I laughed and laughed at that when he said it.

{illness}: fed up

2010-11-02T15:32:00.000-06:00

I am sick. AGAIN. I am so sick of being sick. It is never ending!! I have been more sick in the last year and a half than I can ever remember being!! I have never had allergies like this before! And I know that my allergies are weakening my immune system so I've tried to treat them and it doesn't seem to help! I started taking allergy meds again which has helped and I've tried to get more sleep, exercise more, eat better and I've even been taking a mulitvitamin and some pom juice (for good measure) and I still get sick!! I've tried addressing my emotional issues...I've tried drinking more water...I've tried eating local honey...I've tried nasal strips...I'm frustrated. I'm tired of continually having a runny nose. It's beginning to wear on me. To top it off I can't wear my wedding ring because my winter hands have already gotten so bad that you can see a bright red mark where it belongs. Only half of my throat has been swelling with my allergies lately and my ears healed up again where my piercing used to be because I took out my earrings for more than a day!! I also have a canker sore in the very back of my mouth that is making it hard to eat and I had a headache so bad last night I felt like I was going to throw up. Am I dying? Someone tell me the truth... I've actually been putting in the effort to avoid this problem only to end up worse than I've been!!

{shenanigans}: life & death

2010-11-01T12:25:00.000-06:00

Alicia, the blushing bride.

Staci and Stephanie...the dear sweet twins.

Alex, the sad, sweet widow.

CoreyAnn, the peasant.

April, the Snoot.

Can you find all six of us?

This was WAY too much fun! I have been dying to post them but had to wait until Silly Girls upload day! The living pictures were taken at Brigham Young's actual winter home and the dead pics were taken at a real ghost town-Grafton! It was so scary because we ended up shooting until 2-ish in the AM out at that spooky cemetary!! And I am very proud to say that the transparent effects were all done in-camera (no photoshop for that!!) We did do a little bit of coloring and such but all the scary stuff was real!! So much fun! I love Halloween!

{zumba}: zombies!

2010-10-29T14:18:00.000-06:00

Twas a thrusday night, before halloween...

and the air crisp with the sweet smell of humans...

Kim "I love brains" Cooper

April "Eat your soul" Davis

And Monica "the "happy" zombie" Boyle were out on the prowl...

"Yes!! Fresh meat!" exclaimed Christina "I love flesh" Clark.

"Oh no! She's trying to eat me first" I cried.

Yep, not scared at all...not with the paint, red contacts...nothing...

Rawr!!!

{party}: a surprise for rachel and chad ;)

2010-10-29T13:13:00.000-06:00

Princesses! We have tinkerbell, Snow White, Aurora, Ariel, and Princess Paisley...

The Coopers got some ink done!

The Squires and their little skeleton!

The Moo Cow family...AKA the Wrights!

Mon and her Gartenzwerg-FAVORITE!!

Awwww...

Grumpy and Twiggy.

And my husbands awesome Viking Thighs-that's family history for you! So much fun! Thanx to everyone that came!

{fhe}: corn maze!

2010-10-29T12:41:00.000-06:00

I don't think this would have been possible with normal strollers-once again, can I say how grateful I am for our jogger?!

You might ask yourself "why are they all looking to the sky in a corn maze? are they really that lost?"

Actually, we were looking at the giant spider on a stick...

The boys.

The "men."

The womenfolk..

A turkey...she was givin' me the eye!

Awww...llama face!

And a peacock a roosting!

All in all it was a good time to have for all!

{inquiry}: read me

2010-10-21T11:23:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I am led to believe that people are reading this blog because of my counters and the new super easy Stats tab that has been provided, but no one is commenting...am I not writing anything worth commenting on? Do you read and scratch your head and think to yourself..."hmmm, she's just a nut case. I have nothing to say"? Sometimes I wonder if I am offensive? or controversial...but not really, I just like to believe that I'm controversial. Or do we just need a "like" button so we don't have to worry about commenting? So with this I add 6 statements for you to comment about that are extremely controversial:

I like milk. A lot. There are 6 gallons of milk in my fridge currently and they will be all gone by next week. promise.
I just got released as the Family History Consultant in our ward. I am now the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society-which I am loving already!!
I drive a car that is shaped like a toaster. Oh yes, be jealous.
My baby is cuter than yours. That's right-try and argue with me. We're all thinking the same thing...
I talk to Paisley continuously-particularly while we're at the store and people sometimes stare at me. My sister was with me yesterday and she had taken Paisley out of the cart and I didn't realize it. I was telling her all about the cheese I was looking at and asking her which kind to get and I turned and realized that Paisley was gone with my sis down another aisle. I did however have an audience of people staring at me, inquisitively...
I refuse to wear clothes in my own house. I do not look forward to my children growing up and realizing this because I may actually have to start wearing clothes...horrible!!

Ok, so I'm not very controversial. Now go ahead and scratch your head...I know, I'm a nutcase ;)

{in pictures}: day of the dead

2010-10-19T15:59:00.004-06:00

Let me be the first to say that taking pictures under a black light is hard!! But so much fun! I have no idea why we turned out so purple...but there is always next year to try again!!

{rant}: vaccinations

2010-10-12T09:32:00.002-06:00

I would just like to say how grateful I am for modern medicine. Paisley just received her last bit of vaccinations for awhile and as much as I feel bad for the poor girl when they do the injections, I am so grateful that I will never have to watch my child die slowly of polio, measles, rubella, and so on. What a sad and terrifying thing that must have been for those Mothers that had to endure that! I am so grateful to live in a country where these blessings are readily available and a church that supports and believes in such practices. I cannot for the life of me understand for a second why anyone would choose not to protect their children from such preventable illnesses! Children who have not been vaccinated are still dying in California from Rubella!! That is crazy to me! We knocked out that disease years ago with the vaccine. The most insightful thing that has been said about our generation not vaccinating was from my doctor-he just explained that our parents and grandparents have seen how these children used to die-or how they were left permanently scarred from these illnesses and they had no problem vaccinating! I am scared because I personally know a number of people that choose not to and all it takes is one case of polio to be brought in from another country and they are toast!! And unfortunately its not just from a far away country-it could be Whooping Cough from California or Measles from Salt Lake!! And I love the arguement that I've just had fear drilled into me and that is no reason to do something. Yes it is. I am afraid my kids may get these diseases-but I don't have to be if they are protected from them. It's the same reason I buckle her in when I drive my car. I don't know how you couldn't feel responsible for your childs death if they died of measles because they weren't vaccinated, just like if I didn't put Paisley in her car seat and we got into an accident. I also like to point out that if you ever want your child to be left at a daycare (even the one at my gym), be a doctor, nurse, EMT, or a number of jobs even outside the medical field, or to serve an LDS mission, they must be vaccinated. And I'm grateful for that.

{reflection}: inner warmth

2010-10-07T13:47:00.003-06:00

I think I'm finally beginning to be more comfortable in my own skin. I don't know how else to describe it. It's weird growing-I don't want to say growing up because I refuse to, but just growing. I'm not the same person I was 3 years ago, or the same person I was 10 years ago-and I hope that if I continue in this positive direction that I will be the person I want to be in the next 10... Part of this positive direction came with grabbing on to who I was-I think I began to lose that. I became too judgemental and I actually cared what other people thought for awhile-always a bad idea. I think that began with my roommates my Freshman year of college-they could tell you everything that was wrong with a girl just by glancing at her and did!! I had never really looked at other girls quite that harshly.. It continued with people that told me repeatedly that my jokes were too inappropriate, my red lipstick was just too much and was I really going to wear that/be that/do that??
I can safely and comfortably say yes, I really am going to say that/do that/be that! And I have toned down-but not in the areas that make me who I am. I've moved on to friends that care and love me for who I am. I have an ever supportive husband that supports my ever changing hair colors. And I have a sweet baby girl who needs a mother that feels comfortable and happy in her own skin-I want Paisley to have that and to see that in me.
How did I get here? Well, for starters I just stopped looking at myself in the nude. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm a work in progress and is it really necessary? I mean I still shower and stuff.... I also made an effort to renew my love with creativity. I began making things again. I began taking pictures because I love to take pictures. Probably the biggest help was the decision to surround my self with lovers instead of haters. And really being home with my baby girl-she has helped heal me the most. She loves me. Always. No matter what. And I know that won't last forever so I hope I can just bottle a little extra every time she looks up at me with nothing but love in her eyes. I have found joy in movement again-I love zumba. I think that Jon is finally beginning his healing process too-we've had a rough couple of years...a moment of reprieve has been nice! And lastly, I wore awesome pink galoshes all day in this beautiful rainy weather and really, nothing could make one happier! I love you all!

{inquiry}: dating

2010-10-04T12:00:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I get a little ahead of myself about what I really should be worrying about-you see, I should be more worried about Paisley falling down the stairs or eating something off the floor than I should be about her dating, but currently I'm worried about her dating. My problem: I don't know about this whole not steady dating before you're 18-ish or wanting to get married thing. It's not because I don't understand why-I totally get why. I just don't think it's a good idea to teach my daughter that it's perfectly acceptable to just use guys to get free food and not feel like she has any reason to give it a second thought if she just dates everybody all the time. Doesn't that teach a huge lack of commitment and such? I don't want her to not date, or to steady date neccessarily, but I don't really want her running around thinking that she doesn't have to commit to anyone and guys are just a resource for food and fun. I think this stems from girls I knew in college that did this for a living-they never had to buy themselves food if they constantly lined up dates for every night. They would string guys along until they wanted more and then dump them on their face only to move on to their roomates. Now I know that sounds extreme but if we're telling our kids not to steady date and not let it go anywhere then where is is supposed to go? And what is the point of dating if its never supposed to go anywhere???!?! I know its supposed to just be for fun, but can we stop pretending that teenagers don't have feelings? They do. If anything, that have WAY too many feelings. Personally I never did get this figured out through high school or college. I can only recall one dance that I went to that wasn't with a boyfriend. I LOVED every one of those boys-I really did. And I hated the girls that had no problem letting boys spend hoards of their parents money on them only to say-well, thanx-you're a good friend. I doubt they spend that much on their guy friends-why are we encouraging them to spend so much on girls that are only supposed to be friends also?!?! I really, really do understand why they discourage steady dating-its completely pointless before a mission and a terrible waste of time, feelings, heart-ache and money as well! So what am I supposed to do? Tell Paisley dating is a waste of time and such anyway and not to bother with it? Allow her to decide and hope she makes good decisions? Forbid dating until she wants to get married (I've seen the effects of this too and it produces stupid, stupid girls) I'm lost-and I know it is a ways away but I still worry! What do you think?

{excerpt}: women, food, & God

2010-10-01T16:59:00.003-06:00

I have raved about how much I love this book before. I loved it so much after I read it I went and bought a second copy and sent it to my Mom. My Mom had to steal it back from my sister because she also wanted to read it! She loved it so much she took the time to type up this excerpt and post it on her blog so I stole it and am now posting it here!! Keep in mind this is a book about dieting and food-once you read this, I think you will understand all the more why I love it!!

An excerpt from "Women, Food, And God"

"I shut myself down or walk out the door when pain threatens to destroy me- which is in any situation that involves another human being or whose outcome I can't control. Something else is happening-the refusal to accept- and therefore engage in...life as it is. In the way things are. Polar bears are dying. Honeybees are vanishing. The oceans are drying up. There is a part of me that wants my money back. That wants to say I didn't sign up for this, I don't like the way this whole thing is set up and I won't participate in it.

Stephen Levine, a buddhist teacher, says that hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are. Being one place and wanting to be somewhere else. Being constantly agitated- another word for nonaccepting- about the inevitable. Being in a relationship with someone and refusing to surrender to love becase you don't want to give yourself to something you will eventually lose. That is called living in hell. That's also called leaving without leaving. Dying before you die. It's as if there is a part of you that rails against being shattered by love that you shatter yourself first."

Sometimes life is hard and I don't want the trials I'm given. I know I should be glad for the opportunity to grow; but unfortunately, sometimes I'm just not grateful for the chance to be stretched to what feels like wayyyy past my limit. To be at the beginning of what feels like a never ending tunnel.

The thing that is important to realize though, is that long before I came to this earth, I did "sign up for this." And when I made my decision, I knew full well that it would be hard and full of challenges. If I made that choice then, knowing what was coming...then I must have definately known that it would all be worth it in the end. And sometimes, that is a little piece of knowledge that reminds me to keep on going. A dim light in the distance.

{rant}: marriage

2010-09-27T12:57:00.003-06:00

I am ranting today because I am tired of hearing the same old tumultuous love story. I'm tired of it. And I'm a girl that loves some good drama. But it's getting overdone. What is wrong with being married and still in love? Why does marriage always have to be portrayed as a jail sentance, or as an end to the story? Why are all married couples in the movies bored and tired of each other and looking for a divorce? Or worse-cheating on each other, or contemplating cheating on each other, or going to cheat on each other? Getting married isn't the end. You don't have to choose marriage or a career-you can have both. You don't have to choose marriage or freedom!! Marriage is awesome! I still like my husband!! I'm nearly positive he still likes me! We're not constantly looking for an out! That crazy girl that I once was still exists and thrives a married woman! I love having a buddy in life. I don't think I would like living alone without Jon. And yes-maybe I would have travelled more. But really, it's so much more fun travelling with a friend too!! I don't know-I'm just tired of everything I see on TV portraying such a negative attitude about marriage-it's fun. There is peace in it. Can someone just write a love story between a husband and wife that love each other-that have always loved each other, and will continue to? Is that just too boring? Or too perfect? I worry for the next generation-they seem to think that marriage is a hopeless battle that will most certainly end in divorce!! How terrible is that! How sad is that. Too sad. Much too sad...

{old habits}: wedding videography

2010-09-24T22:37:00.002-06:00

If you get a chance, check out the wedding video I posted over on the Foto and Film Blog. It's Chad and I's newest attempt at wedding videography. It was fun but a bit stressful-we edited the whole thing in a couple hours because they wanted it to play at the reception....cutting it all very, very close. It was fun to shoot on Temple Square surrounded by all of these other videographers carrying their heavy video equipment. We strolled around with our little SLR cameras. Oh! And we rented a fisheye lens-way too much fun! Oh, I do love it!

{autumn}: a little something to get you in the mood...

2010-09-22T11:50:00.004-06:00

This was way WAY too much fun! If you ever need to get into the mood for fall-go out in a corn field in tights with a pumpkin over your head and take pictures. The best part was the cars driving by wondering what in the world we were doing!! We originally thought this would be really cute-but they kind of turned out creepy so we went with it. So much fun! I love you silly girls!!!

{nostalgia}: journals

2010-09-20T21:57:00.002-06:00

I have a feeling that many of my next posts will be nostalgic. Cleaning out my third bedroom has opened the flood gates-and I'm sure they will continue to flow as I continue to sort and clean. I am so glad that I kept a journal during so many random stages of life. I've never solidly kept a journal-there are many breaks inbetween months of journaling, but I wrote about so many important times in my life. One of the most important-while I was dating my husband. I thought I had lost that journal and I didn't! Just finding it was so cool but what I found inside was even better. The neatest thing in the world-the day that I first told my husband that I love him was August 17, 2004. Our first baby was born EXACTLY 5 years later on August 17, 2009 after almost 5 years of being married. How cool is that?!!?! I was blown away. It's so cool to have exact dates of when we met, dated, kissed, he proposed, everything. All journaled in this special book.
Also, I have realized that I'm so glad to be past dating-oh the angst!! I was one sad case when I was still dating-marriage has been nice and stable for me. And I sure do like my husband-he wins the contest for best roommate hands down. MMmmmmm....memories...

{nostalgia}: the notebook

2010-09-18T17:18:00.003-06:00

So I've been cleaning out my third bedroom-and it's bad. I was going to take before and after pictures, but it was actually bad enough that I just couldn't do it. Anyway, going through some of this stuff has been quite the trip down memory lane. Particularly sorting through my old journals and notebooks...so funny. Some of you may recognize this notebook...it has many a rambling in it from many random girls and a couple boys too. All the way back from Junior High...awww. Some of the highlights include:

"E-mail is a great thing to have!"
"Boys are dumb" "Not all guys are bad, some are dead," "We sent one man to the moon, why not send them all?" "So many guys, so little asprin"-We all apparently did not like the opposite gender at this time? Odd, because it seems we typically wrote exclusively about them...?
"Crayons are cool." "Applebee's is cool." EVERYTHING is COOL.
Fox Mulder and the X-files are the coolest thing in the whole entire world.
There are an array of alias' including: Marvin, Skittles, Grandoff, Fox Mulder, Chiquita Banana, Koala, Herman, Bob, Dana Scully, december 3, Hollywood, etc...
The official notebook rules: 1. No ripping out pages. 2. Guys are not allowed to read the book unless voted in. 3. No writing badly about anyone involved. 4. Refrain from swearing, but if you must, censor it. 5. Use both sides of the paper (we were going green even back then). 6. Always sign your name (or alias).
We discuss slave auctions, having your eagle stolen, periods, crime investigation, fire alarms, "hotties," and other such that when pulled out of context sounds particularly odd.

Overall the entire thing is hilarious. Just thought you might want to walk down memory lane with me...

{my other life}: gartenzwergs

2010-09-17T00:44:00.003-06:00

So I did some work on the Foto and Film Blog because I will be doing Tuacahn's Homecoming Dance on Friday and I want it to look good if I have any visitors after. Also, I set up a Facebook page so if you like me, prove it and go find my page on Facebook for Foto & Film! Also, doesn't my sis look hott in a moustache!!

Love, LOVE. Kisses!!

{movies}: my biography

2010-09-14T16:27:00.000-06:00

{theories}: mama bear

2010-09-13T15:11:00.002-06:00

So I was watching the noon news today and saw the heard the most horrific thing. Something so awful, for the first time in my life I'm grateful I have had an anger problem. Somewhere in Northern Utah a Mom lost her little 4 year old girl in a Deseret Industries only to find her in the Men's bathroom being molested by some awful, creepy man who is now in jail with rape charges. A 4-year-old girl!!!! Just hearing the news sent electric tingles of adrenaline pulsing down my spine-and at that moment I became grateful for my anger problem, my joy in confrontation, and my small amount of self defense classes that have taught me how to use just about ANYTHING as a weapon (thank you Jon Cross!!!) My instant reaction just to hearing this news leads me to believe that if I was in the situation that disgusting man would be toast. I've often wondered what I would do if I myself was attacked but the thought of anyone EVER coming near my daughter causes a rage so violent I could actually be dangerous...I think there may be some validity to the "Mama Bear" theory. I hope I never have the chance to find out...

{ramblings}: 4 am

2010-09-03T03:42:00.002-06:00

When they say "5 hour energy," they mean 5 hours of energy...and maybe some more. I'm awake...wide, wide awake home from a drive from Salt Lake in the night-hence the 5 hour energy. I wouldn't endorse regularly using the stuff-it's potent!!
I can't sleep and I can't decide if it's the caffeine or my mind or both. It seems that some of the nights I think I'm falling asleep in front of the TV out of laziness it's actually just to get my mind to shut up. To distract it. Which is not something I endorse.
After reading Mama Pincocks discourse on Worriers I definitely fall into the "Regretters" category-so much that it can literally keep me up at night. Not only does regret keep me up, but what my next course of action should be. I've really learned over the years to shut my mouth and leave things be, but I still have to convince myself that that really is the best course of action in some situations. And I always assume the worst-that everything is always my fault because of some stupid thing I did or said.
I am up tonight because I can't decide what to do. Someone that Jon and I know is telling people untrue things about us around several topics that I had just decided to forget about and move on. Unfortunately for them, they have been speaking to some members of my extended family-and I don't know if they know that they are relatives of mine. (I am related to many people here in Southern Utah). Unfortunately for this person we have pretty specific evidence that paints a much clearer picture that certainly doesn't favor them. I had all intentions of dropping the whole thing and moving on...but it's hard to do knowing that someone out there is bad-mouthing my husband and I when it should probably be the other way around...
Should I be the adult in the situation and just forget it all and hope they stop-or drop to their level to clear our name and trash theirs??? The people we are dealing with are of a juvenile nature so it's extra tempting to take the second course of action...ug..I don't know. And for some reason I'm still awake at 4 in the morning thinking about how to address all of this. I just can't believe people could be so disrespectful and rude! I'm going to sleep on it. Any ideas?

{homemade}: some sewing projects...

2010-08-26T15:10:00.004-06:00

It began with finally finishing this quilt! I LOVE denim quilts because they are so heavy and warm and perfect for picnics so I finally finished this one. I actually started this quilt back in 2004 while I was waiting for Idaho Falls to warm up so I could have a job (I lifeguarded back in those days-oh, how I miss it). My Mom was kind enough to let me have all the old jeans she had been saving so I cut them up, serged them together, found some soft material for the backing, sewed that together and finally tied it! And it only took me 6 years! It's a warm and soft one though-perfect for snuggling!

For Alex's birthday she wanted that cute picture of a girl at a carnival but was having a hard time finding a dress so we decided to make one! It turned out so cute so I think I'm going to make myself a variation of the same one!

This wasn't a sewing project...but I did make it. It's just part of the following sewing projects...

This was minimal sewing too...I hated that the mail holder below was just a standard black and the bulletin board just a silver so I finally painted them and added fabric (with a stitched hem (sewing)) over the cork board part and made the "what's for dinner" magnet.

I love my Gartenzwerg but he was originally the wrong colors so I re-painted him to match and made the tablecloth to go with everything else-so much fun. The fabric for the tablecloth was my inspiration to redo the entire kitchen in bright but muted colors with a vintage inspiration... (Note: I stole this idea from my aunt but if you like fabric tablecloths but don't want them to get smeared with food you can buy clear vinyl by the yard at walmart to protect them-and your table too!) I made this little sleeves to go over my glass jars with individual phrases from the tablecloth material zig-zagged on...

I wanted to post about this right away (I finished the kitchen 2-3 weeks ago) but I just hadn't.And I also made these scrub tops for my friend Heather! We did pillow covers for her couch at home and while we were at it made some scrubs! She LOVES polka dots and was super excited to finally have a polka-dot top! The pillow covers turned out super cute-we did zippers in them so that she can pull them off her existing pillows and wash them when she wants! Just thought I would share-I miss sewing and it's been fun to have some projects. The pics are a bit yellow...I found a fun polaroid setting on my cell phone and sometimes it does that... :( Call if you want to play!

{tmi}: oh, the pain

2010-08-25T11:52:00.003-06:00

This post has been label "tmi" for a reason. So turn around if you don't want to know! It's not like anyone reads my blog lately anyway, so I don't really care!
My boobs are killing me! I officially ended weaning Paisley on Saturday after a 5 week weaning process of cutting out and switching one feeding a day to milk. Because I planned so diligently and took the process so slowly I believed it was a sure-fire way to prevent severe engorgement. I was so, so very wrong. So for the last 4 days I have been in excruciating pain. I feel like I have 2 giant (and for me they are giant!) swollen bruises on my chest. On top of it, I am one of the blessed few that also gets flu-like symptoms from suffering this severe engorgement. Awesome. Paisley has been taking the whole thing very well and doesn't seem to mind not nursing too much. She still likes to come up and run into my very sore chest and punch me and it hurts so very badly. The other thing that makes this extra hard is trying to explain to people that yes, I'm sick, but no...this is definitely not contagious. Why? Well it has to do with my boobs...that's why. I think I've been on a bit of a hormone trip as well...or it could just be the pain, but I'm super grumpy. I just needed to complain a bit. The bright side of all of this: I can take allergy medicine again!!! Yay! And I bought a Halloween craft magazine to keep me distracted so hopefully today I won't be quite as grumpy...we'll see.

{party}: miss mae

2010-08-23T11:37:00.006-06:00

Saturday we had Paisley's First Birthday!

With LOTS of fun cupcakes!

This is not the best picture of her cake, but I was a little distracted...

She got lots of books, toys and clothes!

She was not sure what do do with her cake...

So Dad helped her out...

Which didn't go over so well...

But worked out in the end...

Thank you so much to everyone that was there! We really appreciate all the love and the gifts! And it was so fun to see all of you! Happy Birthday baby girl!

{birthdays}: paisley mae

2010-08-17T10:13:00.002-06:00

I cannot believe that one year ago today I was in labor with Paisley! Right around this time last year I was getting an epidural-very, very ready to be done being pregnant! This pic is of her around 1:15-ish she was only a couple of minutes old! Oh, and she was such a sweet little baby! I do miss snuggling her when she was so tiny! Today she is a curious 1 year old! Some of her quirks include:

She loves to swim and has loved swimming all summer. I think she will be a water baby like her mom. Every time I go to work out and I drop her off at the nursery we walk past the pool doors and she gets all excited because she thinks we're going to go.
She has only 2 teeth on the bottom and I wonder when she'll be getting more!?
She can crawl like crazy and stand on her own...she's thinking about walking and I think it will happen soon...?
She is petite for her age and is just beginning to grow out of her 9M clothes (which actually works out because then I can wait to buy her 12M until the season changes).
She loves baths! She likes to splash and stand up and play with her ducky.
She will only eat food she can feed herself-she got over baby food 3 months ago and has been eating table food ever since!
She loves to giggle, smile and is a generally happy baby.
She LOVES her daddy! And it's not fair. She light up the minute he walks in the door and even yells DA-daaa sometimes!
If she likes something she also calls it Da or Da-da. If shes hungry or upset she says Ma-ma-MA! its great.
She loves to have conversations. She especially loves it if you parrot back to her what she just said or blow raspberries back at her.
She is almost done nursing! (yay!) I'm going to miss it, but I'm also excited for my independence. She loves her milk and has been doing really well with it!

We just love her. It has been such and incredible blessing having such a sweet baby girl and I just can't wait for her to grow. At the same time, I don't want her to grow! It's terrible being caught in such a catch-22! She brings us so much happiness and has been so much fun! We love you Miss Paisley Mae!

{birthday}: come play!

2010-08-16T15:07:00.001-06:00

We are eating cupcakes and opening presents at our house at 2:00 on Saturday the 21st of August! Let me know if you can come!

{activities}: demolition

2010-08-15T21:46:00.003-06:00

So with the Washington County Fair going on we figured we should ditch our kids and watch a whole bunch of cars run into each other...good times!

Oddly enough both Chad and Steve managed to avoid having their picture taken... :(

The cars were crazy!

And I don't know if you can see, but it is so hot coming off the cars (and really, just outside in general) that the squiggle blur is coming off the hot cars!

Also, if you get the chance check out my preview of some other carnival pictures here with the awesome Will and Alex . More to follow with them over at Ein Foto!

{loves}: zumba

2010-08-11T13:16:00.002-06:00

So I cried at Zumba today. Actually I bawled. It was a little embarassing. I went up to tell our instructor April thank you for the class and to tell her how much I love Zumba and instead I started crying. And she hugged me. And just let me cry for a minute. I'm crying right now thinking about it...wow this is embarassing. Anyway, I've been a sad and broken ballerina for a long time now and I think I finally found a home. It's been hard because as a dancer, I want to dance. I crave it. I need it. It completes me. I feel whole again when my body is worked through-warmed to the bones and sweating with movement. And I had that with ballet. I loved it. I stepped out of my chaotic life and focused solely on my movement and muscles. I miss it like a drug...like home. And I've found that home with zumba. It is a far cry from ballet and I'm still learning the movements...oh but I love it. so much. I've tried running...pilates (which I do love)...aerobics classes...treadmills...elipticals...I've even tried going back to ballet but it's not my place anymore. I'm not the starved dancer that had no problem jumping into a leotard that I once was. I've been searching and searching and I think I finally found what I needed...if you haven't tried it-you need to! Come with me! I love it...

{shenanigans}: clue

2010-08-03T01:08:00.003-06:00

Oh yes, that's us in those windows!

Pretty much the entire time I was flirting with the maid or Miss Scarlet. I still think I was profiled because of the short hair to play Professor Plum! So much fun!

For once, in a very long, long time I was not in charge of this project-I just got to come play and it was WONDERFUL! Don't get me wrong, I love being in charge, but it was so nice to have a break and just get to play and have fun. I didn't take the pics, I didn't do the editing...I played with some lights here and there and helped out where I could but it was so nice just to have fun! And to live my happy life as Professor Plum?... Hopefully there will be more shenanigans to come!

{clarity}: the womenfolk

2010-07-28T11:50:00.002-06:00

I've blogged before about how much I hate girls and how much I worry about Paisley when she gets older because of girls. I received even more clarification about that today. I had something horrible happen to me. Details may not be important-let's just say I got to enjoy the searing pain of being judged by some of St. George's finest example of why I hate girls. It shocked me into remembering why I struggled so much in High School. It burned. And was so unecessary! I had to step back and wonder to myself if all my progress in finding self worth was real? My first words out of my mouth to my dear sweet husband was "I am so much better than them! Why do I even care?" Actually, that leaves me at their level because they believe that they are so much better than everyone. I realized that to pull out of my dangerously steep spiral that was not the line of thought I needed to pursue. So what then? I began to reflect on how lucky I am. I am surrounded by girlfriends that don't need to do this to others to survive. I have loving, non-judging girlfriends that just love me for who I am. Not how many children I have, not how skinny I am, not whether or not I'm breastfeeding...they all just love me. And I am weird! And still loved! And I love all of you. I am becoming more whole and ok because of you. Thank you for putting up with my bizarre quirks....my desperate need to speak my mind...I love you all and I hope I've been that girlfriend for you!